90+ Viper Puns And Jokes That Are Hiss-terical

Vhy, hello there! It’ssss sssuper nice to sssee you all here again. Today, we’ve got a fang-tastic list of viper puns and jokes waiting for you to devour.

Vipers, known for their distinctive triangular heads and venomous bites, have captured the imaginations (and ankles) of many. But don’t let their fearsome fangs fool you—vipers can be the hiss-terical subject of some fantastic viper puns and jokes.

For instance, did you know that the viper family includes over 200 species? That’s a lot of sss-sass! These snakes can be found in nearly every corner of the world, except Antarctica. But I bet if they were there, they’d be chilling out, practicing their cool viper moves. Vipers are also known for their incredible ability to sense heat through specialized pits on their faces, making them natural-born vip-erre-dators.

Also, did you know that a viper’s fangs are hollow? That’s because they act like needles that fill up with venom. When a viper bites or attacks its prey, the venom is injected into their prey. Their fangs can also be rotated independently – kinda like a car’s blind spot mirrors that can be adjusted differently. Talk about su-viper!

Now, let’s dive into some viper-tastic puns! Ever heard about the viper who couldn’t find its way home? It was lost in a viperious circle! And what about the viper who was so important? It was the V.I.P-er! These jokes are sure to leave you hissing with laughter.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Did you hear about the viper who slithered onto a car’s windscreen? It wanted to be a windshield viper . Or how about the viper who became a poet? It wrote with viperious enthusiasm, putting all its ssssoul into each verse. And if you’re ever feeling down, just remember that a viper could always slither you a compliment to lift your spirits.

Vipers are nocturnal creatures. They’re a slow moving snake that creeps up on you before striking, but the next time you see a viper coming slowly at you, it might be looking to strike you with his latest sssssuper viper pun.

Alright, then! Now that you’ve swallowed up some fun facts, you’re free to slither on to the lisssst – or should we say “hisssst” – of viper funnies.

Viper Puns

  • Viper (Sniper) – Skilled serpentine shooter.
  • Viper (Hyper) – A snake on a sugar high.
  • Viper-thalamus – The part of the snake’s brain that produces hormone.
  • Viper-termia – A cold snake.
  • Viper Rash – A rash baby snakes get from wearing diapers.
  • Viper-bole – Snakes who exaggerate.
  • Viper-tension – Snake with high blood pressure.
  • Viper-ventilate – When vipers stick their tongues out and pant.
  • Viper-critical – An nitpicky snake.
  • Viper-on (Hyperon) – A snake particle with strange quarks in Physics.
  • Vipereon – Every little snake’s favourite Pokemon.
  • Viper-tato – If a snake and a potato had a baby.
  • Vi-pear – When you cross a snake and a fruit.
  • Vi-pearl – Pretty snake in an oyster.
  • Vi-purr – When you cross a snake and a cat.
  • Vi-perm – Snake with fancy hair.
  • Vi-perk – Snakes with benefits.
  • Cerebellar Viper-plasia – Neurological disorder that makes wobbly snakes.
  • The Pied Viper – Every little snake’s favourite nursery rhyme character.
  • Vi-persimmon – Snake and a persimmon mashup.
  • Viperi-peri – Snake chilli.
  • Viper-iwinkle – A snake’s favourite shade of blue.
  • Viper-iscope – How snakes see out of submarines.
  • Why-per – An inquisitive snake.
  • High-per – Snake stuck in a tall tree.
  • Lie-per – A deceiving snake.
  • Pie-per – Snake pastry.
  • Die-per – A dead viper.
  • Dia-per – Snakes that hole poo and pee.
  • It’s time to viper slates clean and start again.
  • Viper tears away…

Viper Related Puns

When it comes to words related to vipers and snakes, the English language has more twists and turns than a serpent! For instance, did you know that a group of vipers is called a generation? That’s right, a whole generation of *hiss-terical* pun potential!

The word “serpent” itself slithers through ancient myths and modern tales alike. And let’s not forget venomous vocabulary! Words like “slither” and “coil” wrap around your tongue, just like a snake ready to strike up a punny conversation.

Speaking of striking, vipers have an impressive strike speed – up to two-fifths of a second! That’s faster than most people can say “Fassssst!” So next time you’re tongue-tied, just remember to channel your inner snake. You’ll be sss-urprised how quickly your words turn into fang-tastic viper puns and jokes!

Snake, Reptile, and Serpent Puns

  • Snake-ery – A bakery for reptiles.
  • Snake-rs – Shoes for snakes…a little impractical.
  • Stomach Snake – Reptilian belly ache.
  • Milk-snake – Every reptile’s favourite dessert.
  • William Snake-speare – Every reptile’s favourite poet.
  • For-snake – When snakes abandon you.
  • Rap-tile – Hip hop snakes.
  • Rep-tiles – Things that decorae jungle floors.
  • Rep Styles – Harry Styles’ snake pet.
  • Wrap-tile – A bundled up snake.
  • Wrap-tile – Snake in a tortilla.
  • Raptile Dysfucntion – When your snake doesn’t work properly.
  • Serpentine Fire – Every snake’s favourite Earth, Wind and Fire song.
  • Slurp-ent – Snake eating noodles.
  • Sir-pent – A knighted snake.
  • Stir-pent – A snake making soup in a pot.
  • Usurp-ent – Snakes who take over by force.
  • Oh, for goodness snake!
  • Snake it till you make it.
  • Snake your groove thing.
  • There’s plenty at snake here, let’s be rational.
  • You can’t have your snake and eat it too.
  • It’s snake or break…
  • Everybody makes mis-snakes.

Fang and Bite Puns

  • Fang-tastic – How snakes say fantastic!
  • Fang-cy – When a snake gets all dressed up.
  • Fang-k You – How snakes express gratitude.
  • Fang Shui – What superstitious snakes believe in.
  • Fang-ible (Tangible) – Something that snakes can touch.
  • Fang-us (Fungus) – Mould that grows on snakes.
  • Big Fang Theory – How snakes came into existence.
  • Non Fang-ible Tokens – Cryptocurrency for snakes.
  • Wu-Fang Clan – Every snake’s favourite hip-hop producer.
  • Bite Club – Every snake’s favourite movie.
  • Des-bite – Despite…
  • Mega-bite – Digital memory for snakes.
  • Frost-bite – When a cold snake bites you.
  • Civil Ssssservant – Snake working in government.
  • Saturday Bite Live – Every snake’s favourite comedy show.
  • The Bite House – Where snake presidents live.
  • Shake that fang (thang), baby!
  • Another one bites the dust…
  • Go for it. Don’t hissy-tate!
  • You’re a bite for sore eyes.

Viper Jokes

Viper jokes are the “sss-olution” to any dull moment—they’re always ready to strike with laughter! Picture this: Why don’t vipers make good secret agents? Because they always “rattle” under pressure! Or how about the viper who tried stand-up comedy? It really knew how to “serp-ent-ertain” a crowd, leaving them in coils of laughter. Viper humor can be as sharp as their fangs, and just as unexpected. For example, what do you call a snake who works for the government? A “civil sss-servant”! And if a viper ever gets too big for its scales, just remind it not to “hiss-take” arrogance for charm. The beauty of viper jokes is that they’re full of “bite” but never poisonous – unless you count the venomous puns! So next time you’re looking for a laugh, just remember: viper jokes are “fang-tastically” funny, no “hissy-tation” required!

Q: What do you call a snake in a blizzard?
A: Wind-chilled Vipers.

Q: Why couldn’t the viper viper nose?
A: Because the adder adder ‘andkerchief.

Q: What does a female snake do after using the restroom?
A: Viper stuff.

Q: What do you get when you cross a poisonous viper and a giant scorpion?
A: Probably what you deserve.

Q: What do you get when you cross a viper with a pirate?
A: Long John Slither.

Q: What’s a viper’s favorite movie genre?
A: Anything with a good hiss-terical twist!

Q: Why don’t vipers ever get lost?
A: Because they always follow their inssstincts!

Q: What do you call a viper who can’t stop telling jokes?
A: A sss-stand-up comedian!

Q: Why did the viper get a job at the bakery?
A: Because it’s great at making sss-ticky buns!

Q: How does a viper write a love letter?
A: With lots of sss-wweet nothings!

Q: Why did the viper refuse to play cards?
A: It couldn’t deal with the sss-takes!

Q: Why don’t vipers play hide and seek?
A: Because they’re always afraid of getting sss-potted!

Q: What’s a viper’s favorite subject in school?
A: Hiss-tory!

Q: Why did the viper join the orchestra?
A: It wanted to play the hiss-truments!

Q: What did the viper say to its partner on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re the one I’ve been sser-pent my whole life looking for!

Q: Why did the viper start a business?
A: It wanted to sss-tart up its own fang-chise.

Q: Why don’t snakes ever make good decisions?
A: Because they always hissitate!

Q: What do you call a snake who loves math?
A: An adder!

Q: Why did the snake break up with its partner?
A: It was tired of the constant con-striction!

Q: What’s a snake’s favorite dance move?
A: The slither slide!

Q: Why don’t snakes drive cars?
A: Because they can’t find a ss-seatbelt that fits!

Q: What’s a snake’s favorite kind of TV show?
A: Anything with a lot of ss-suspense!

Q: Why did the snake visit the doctor?
A: It had a ss-scaly problem!

Q: How do snakes keep their homes tidy?
A: They use a viper-cleaner!

Q: What do you call a snake who leads a team?
A: The viper-visor!

Q: What do you get when a snake joins a band?
A: A viper-cussionist!

Q: What’s the best score a viper can get in anything?
A: Viper-fect!

Q: What do you get if you cross a viper with a cat?
A: Vipurr!

  • My pet viper swallowed a sheet of window glass causing the snake severe physical discomfort.
    It was a real pane in the asp.
  • The game in the first episode of the new season of black mirror wasn’t going to be called striking vipers. That’s because they initially wanted to call it Smash Bros, but that was already taken.
  • People all over the world are freaking out when they find snakes in their car. Here in Australia its pretty common, we just call them windscreen vipers.
  • Constable: I saw a guy driving a Charger, a Challenger, and a Viper in the same day
    Sergeant: Hmm, seems a bit dodgy…

  • A young man inherited a stately manor from his uncle after his untimely passing. The man’s uncle was in reasonably good health, but was found dead in his library. His body bore signs of poisoning, but there was no one else with him the night of his death and no poison was found in his system or on the premises.

    The young man wasn’t going to turn down his inheritance, and decided to move there. On his first day there, the young man began exploring his new abode and stumbled across a room filled with books in countless languages. As he continued, his gaze rested upon a golden figure of a snake, coiled and poised to strike, eyes transfixed on his own. Then the truth of this room dawned upon the man. It was the very same room in which his uncle was found dead!

    The impenetrable silence in the room was shattered by the phone ringing loudly on the desk. Hesitantly, the young man reached for the phone, cleared his throat and stammered, “H-h-hello?”

    The voice on the phone sounded old and sickly. “I am The Viper, and I will see you in one hour…” to which the young man hastily jammed the phone back onto its receiver. Soon, the phone rang again, rousing the man.

    “I am The Viper, and I will see you in 15 minutes!” The man was not imagining things! 15 minutes passed, and again the phone rang. “I am The Viper, and I am here to see you!” The voice was accompanied by a knock on the front door. The young man, terrified for his life, glanced feebly through the peephole, silently praying for officers at his door.

    Instead, he saw an old, gaunt, red nosed man with several buckets and squeegees. The man opened the door and was greeted with “I am The Viper, sir. I vent from town to here to vipe your vindows! Vere should I start?”

  • A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon. The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.

    The dungeon’s architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. The seer had numbered them, starting from 1A, and he mumbled to himself as they progressed.

    “1A, Volcanic lava”, he said, and cast a shielding spell as the lava rained down from the roof.

    “1B, Whirling blades”, and the rogue was dispatched to tumble through the deathtrap and disable it from the other side.

    1E was a horde of pit vipers, whose fangs were dashed to dust on their half-orcish barbarian’s stone skin, as she strangled them, one by one.

    2G was just a mildly uncomfortable self-portrait of the dungeon architect, in the nude. “They can’t all be winners,” commiserated the seer, as he turned his inner eyes to the future.

    Row three more than made up for the disappointment. Hydras, crushing walls, falling spikes, rains of acid. Bravely our heroes faced these obstacles, and bravely they started anew on the fourth row.

    4A….4B….

    And then rocks fell, and everyone died. That, they weren’t able to 4C.

As we slither to the end of our viper pun and joke journey, remember that these slippery funnies are always ready to strike with laughter! Whether you’re adding some “viper-fect” zingers to your conversations or just looking to sss-tartle your friends with some hiss-terical humor, viper humor have you covered. With puns and jokes this sharp, there’s no doubt that these jokes have plenty of bite to give you a fang-tastic time. Keep sss-smiling and let the good times slither on!

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