Contents

Welcome, shell-ebrated readers, to the slimy world of escargot puns, where the humor is slow but well worth the wait! For those of you unfamiliar, escargot is just a fancy French term for snails on a plate. Yes, someone looked at a snail and thought, “Let’s garlic this bad boy up and see what happens.”

Here’s a fun fact to start: snails can sleep for up to three years if the weather isn’t just right. Talk about shell-ter in place! Imagine napping so long you miss multiple New Year’s parties – sounds like every introvert’s dream, right?

Now, we know puns about snails may seem a bit sluggish at first, but they’re bound to grow on you… slowly but surely. Whether you’re here to crawl through some gastropod giggles or to mollusk in the glory of wordplay, we promise to keep things as slow and slimy as possible. So buckle up – well, more like buckle in, since we won’t be going anywhere fast – and let’s make some shell-arious memories!

Prepare to shell out laughs, folks, because this pun-tastic ride is about to es-car-go off the rails!

Escargot Puns

Escar-go – The opposite of escar-stop.
Escar-gold – The shiniest, most expensive sea snail.
Escar-gopher – If a gopher had a baby with a sea snail.
Escar-goat – Snails that eat grass and go baaa.
Escar-goose – Sea snails that honk.
Escar-good – Not escar-bad.
Escar-goal – When a sea snail scores a goal in a football match.
Escar-gloat – Sore-winner sea snails.
Escar-goth – It’s just a phase, mom.
Escar-gonads – Reproductive hormone glands in a sea snail.
Escargo-blique – Snails that move in a slanted angle.
Escar-ghosts – The spirits of the sea snails you just ate.
Escargobi Wan Kenobi – Luke Snailwalker’s jedi mentor.
Escargot Machiavelli – An Italian sea snail philosopher.
Escargot Robbie – Every sea snail’s favourite actress.
Escar-Gollum – A sea snail from Lord of The Rings.
Es-care-go – Nurturing sea snails.
E-scare-go – Sea snails on Halloween.
E-scar-go – A sea snail that had a tragic injury.
E-Scar-go – The villain in Disney’s mollusc version of The Lion King.
Avo-cargot – If an avocado and a sea snail had a baby.
I’ve escar-got the power!
My precious cargo of fresh escargot.
Escar-got your nose!

Escargot Related Puns

We’re sliding sloooowly but delightfully into more slimy escargot puns! Some may say these jokes are a bit shelly, but we promise they’re fully loaded. Sure, escargot might sound fancy, but at the end of the day, it’s just a snail in formal wear. And honestly, who wouldn’t want a side of buttery wordplay with their gastropod delicacy? You can’t rush these jokes; they have to marinate like a fine dish, slow-cooked to perfection. After all, snails have a lot in common with puns – they both creep up on you when you least expect it! And if a joke doesn’t land? Just say it’s slime humor. So don’t clam up, let these mollusk-y puns slither into your heart. Warning: consumption of too many may cause either very, very slow laughter or an urge to es-car-go tell your friends.

Shell, Slime, and Slug Puns

So-shell-ism – A molluscs’ preferred political system.
Shello – How sea snails greet each other.
Shell-fless – A kind sea snail.
Mus-shell – A strong sea snail.
Mus-shelle (Michelle) – A sea snail’s favourite girl’s name.
Shell-fie – A sea snail’s self portrait.
Spe-shell – Not an ordinary sea snail.
S-lime – A sea snail on a lime.
Slime-a Beans – A sea snail’s favourite legume.
Louisville Slugger – Molluscs that play baseball.
Chicken Slug-gets – Chicken nuggets with a special ingredient!
Slime so happy!
Slime feelin’ great.
I didn’t slime up for this.
Slime (sign) me up!
It’s my slime (time)!
Shell yeah, bro!
We have shell-ected the best escargot jokes.
Shell-ebrate good times!
We shell overcome our obstacles.
Snail puns are absolutely shell-arious.
What the slug?
I like slugs and kisses.

Butter, Garlic and Herb Puns

Butterfly – When you throw butter out the window.
Butt-er – Butter with a booty.
Gaerlic – An Irish garlic.
Gar-lichen – Garlic that grow on tree bark.
Light bulb – A really, really bright garlic.
Light bulb – Not a heavy garlic.
Herby Hancock – Escargot’s favourite jazz musician.
Elvis Parsley – Escargot’s favourite herb rock n’ roller.
Parsley-tongue – The language of mythical escargot from Harry Potter.
You’re my butter half!
Some things are butter left unsaid.
You can’t churn back time.
I clove you so much.
Hey bulb (bub), what’s happening?
Let herb be.
I herb you like puns.
That’s soup-herb!
Herb your enthusiasm.
This too, shall parsley.
It’s all part and parsley (parcel) of life.

Wine Puns

Genu-wine – Wine from a sincere heart.
Red wine – When your wine is blushing.
Cabirnet – Small cupboard to keep your cabernet.
Cabernet (Cabaret) – An interesting theatrical performance starring wine.
Pinot Palladinoir – Every red wine’s favourite bassist.
The Grape Depression – When you’re out of wine and you’re sad.
Rain-booze comes after the rain.
You’re the wine for me.
Stop wine-ing and eat your snails.
Partners in wine!
If you can’t do the time, don’t do the wine.
Aged like fine wine.
Wine not?
You bet shiraz I like wine.
You mean merlot to me.
Sip back and relax!
Please don’t a-booze your privileges.
I’m battered and boozed.
We need to go back to booze-ics.

Escargot Jokes

Get ready to slip and slide into the world of escargot jokes, where the humor is as smooth as buttered snail shells! These jokes may move slowly, but that just gives you time to really digest them. Escargot humor is an acquired taste – some might say it’s shell-shocking how funny they can be. Others? Well, they might just say, “That joke didn’t have much meat on it.” But we’re here to s-car-go full speed ahead! If the punchlines feel a bit sluggish, don’t worry – snail jokes tend to come out of their shell eventually. And sure, maybe these gags aren’t Michelin-star level humor, but at least they’re not a total shell-out. So sit back, relax, and let the puns ooze their way in. Just remember: if you find yourself laughing too hard, you’ve been snail-swindled.

Q: Why do the French like escargot so much?
A: Well, they’ve long expressed their disdain for fast food.

Q: What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when he cracked his shell?
A: Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!

Q: Why are French snails faster than American ones?
A: L’ess cargo.

Q: Why was the man uncomfortable after eating escargot?
A: He had bad gastropod!

Q: Did you hear about the sea snail from the French bistro that finally found his confidence?
A: He really regretted coming out of his shell.

Q: Where do you find giant snails?
A: At the end of giants’ fingers!

Q: Why do snails take self-defence classes?
A: That way they don’t get assaulted.

Q: What did the sea snail say while riding on a tortoise?
A: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Q: What is the definition of a sea slug?
A: A homeless sea snail!

Q: When do you know a snail is lying?
A: When she tells you she’s not at home.

Q: What’s the difference between a snail’s eye and a slug’s eye?
A: Nothing. They are eye-tentacle.

Q: What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend?
A: Take it slow.

I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should have seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
Ate a fancy French restaurant but the service was terrible. The escargot came at a snail’s pace.
If I want to make Escargot and turtle soup for dinner, do I need to use a slow cooker?
You’d think that sea snails would be faster without their shells. They actually become more sluggish.
Teachers must be patient with snails; they’re slow learners.
Snail One: How are you doing?
Snail Two: I had to have my shell removed today.
Snail One: So how are you finding it?
Snail Two: I feel a bit sluggish.
A man opened a snail farm. His friend came to visit and asked him “How is it going?”
The man replied, “It is a slow-moving business.”
A snail meets a slug and asks him, “how is it going?”
The slug replies, “Not so good. I just got divorced and my wife got the house”.
I went to a fancy restaurant last night and a man was complaining about his escargot. The waiter just shrugged it off. “I’m sorry sir,” the waiter told him. “All snails are final.”
A tortoise got into an accident with a snail.
A policeman asks the snail, “Can you tell me what happened?”
The snail said “No I can’t. It all happened so fast.”
My girlfriend finally convinced me to try this new French restaurant in town. Everything went great, except my escargot was WAY too chewy.
I’m telling you; it was tough ass snails.
The escargot was trying the make a great escape from the kitchen. It was so nervous and anxious, a minute felt like an excruciating hour. Just as it was close to reaching the exit door, it accidentally fell down some stairs. Oh, you should see how slime flies!
So, a snail walks into a car shop and buys a fancy sports car. He asks the painter to put a big S on the front, the back, and both sides. The painter asks why and the snail replies, “so when I drive past people they can say ‘“look at that escargot!’”
A Spanish man is driving a tractor trailer across France and into Italy. At the border he gets stopped by the French police and questioned about the contents of his truck. “Caracoles” he says. Not understanding, the police open it up and say “Oh, escargots.” The Spanish man replies, “Sì, es cargo.”

And there you have it – an un-shellfish serving of escargot puns and jokes, slow-cooked to perfection! Hopefully, these laughs didn’t slime their way past you too quickly. Remember, whether you’re cracking jokes or cracking shells, the key is to take it slow and savor every moment. Escargot humor may not win you any speed awards, but hey, it’s all about the journey, not the pace. So the next time you need to snail a conversation, just whip out a few of these jokes and watch your friends’ laughter crawl to life. Now go forth and escarglow with pride!