Athletics consists of track and field events that include running races, shot put, discus, javelin, hammer throw, high jump, long jump and pole vault. They are a spectacular mix of thrills, spills, and puns that make for a winning combination of humor and excitement. Whether you’re sprinting toward the finish line or leaping over hurdles, there’s always room for a little light-hearted banter. After all, where else can you find such “high-jump” moments and “relay” the laughs with friends? If you’ve ever found yourself “running” out of jokes, athletics sports are brimming with punny potential.

Let’s start with the classic track and field events. Runners might joke, “I’m in a long-distance relationship with my shoes; they just keep running away from me!” And then there’s the high jumper, who might quip, “I really know how to get over the hurdles in life – literally!” Field events aren’t left out of the fun either. Throwers might say, “I’m just here to throw a little humor into the mix,” or “I’m not just tossing around ideas – I’m shot-putting them into action!”

One might say, “I’d love to help with your hurdles, but I’m really more of a steeple-chaser – sprinting past obstacles with a dash of grace!” And let’s not forget the pole vaulting enthusiasts, who might add, “I’m just here to raise the bar – literally and figuratively!”

Athletics sports offer more than just physical challenges; they provide ample opportunities for witty wordplay that keeps the spirit of competition both lively and amusing. So the next time you’re gearing up for a race or hitting the gym, remember that there’s always room for a few more puns to keep things in “good form” and “running smoothly.”

As much as track and field is exciting and entertaining, making athletic puns, jokes and one liners requires flexing that muscle at the top of your head – your brain. Add a healthy dash of sense of humor, quick reflexes and superb timing, your athletics puns, jokes and one liners can cause a Mexican wave of laughter and applause.

So let’s run away with this collection of athletics puns, jokes and one liners and be a champion at making your friends and family laugh.

Athletics Puns

• Hai Jump – Chinese jump event.
• Hi Jump – Leaping for joy as you say Hi!
• Haaii Jump – Japanese jump event.
• Shot Put – Quickly store something.
• Shot Poot – Short, violent fart.
• Shot Poo – Practicing shot putt in a cow pasture.
• Short Put – Event where little people throw a heavy ball.
• Running joke – Comedian jogging.
• Running gag – Runner choking during a race.
• Hammer Throw – When you make Thor angry.
• Hammered Throw – When you make Thor drunk, then angry.
• Hit and run – Two runners fighting during a race.
• Gua-ran-tee – The warranty that comes with running shoes.
• Runderstorm – The sound of hundreds of racers starting a marathon.
• ­Jivelin – Long sharp pointy metal object thrown by musicians.
• Javalin – Social event where you drink coffee and throw spears.
• Shakespeare – Nervous javelin thrower.
• Track To The Future – Movie about a cross country runner who goes back in time and messes his future.
• Hurtdles – Falling on your face at every hurdle.
• Hurdles – Herd of turtles.
• Curdles – Tofu version of the hurdles.
• Turdles – Very, very slow hurdle for turtles.
• Runt – Past tense of run.
• Runway – What runners do after they steal something.
• Cardi-O – Cardi-B’s personal trainer sister.
• Do Ping – Chinese athlete caught cheating.
• Discus – When athletes and coaches talk about how to improve.
• Race-ist – Runner who boycotts events.
• Agony of da-feet – Marathoner with blisters on his soles.
• DissCuss – What angry athletes do after a really bad throw.
• Disgust – How angry discus throwers feel after an awful throw.
• The Game of Throwns – Discus, javelin, shot put, hammer.
• Finnish line – Where a race ends in Finland.
• Piracy – When pirates race the 100 meter dash.

Athletics Related Pun

Athletics are the perfect arena for a “sprint” of humor and a “leap” into laughter. From the track to the field, athletes are always “racing” against the clock and “jumping” over obstacles, but that doesn’t mean they can’t stop for a few puns along the way. Ever wondered what a sprinter’s favorite type of music is? “Track” and roll, of course! Or how about the pole vaulter who’s always “vaulting” into new challenges – talk about raising the bar!

And let’s not forget the javelin throwers, who are always “throwing” their hat into the ring, but make sure not to “spear” anyone with their jokes. Field athletes might say, “I’m really ‘digging’ this sport,” especially if they’re into the discus or shot put. And for the decathletes, it’s not just about multitasking – it’s about “multi-punning” your way through ten different events.

From a hurdler who “Jumps over his problems – one hurdle at a time!” to the high jumper who “always aims high!” and the long jumpers always “leaping” at the chance to crack a joke, every race, every jump, and every throw comes with its own set of puns and laughs.

So, ready, set, go! Let’s run through our collection of athletics puns!

• I just hate the discus throw … it makes me want to hurl.
• The hammer throw is just a bunch of people throwing their weight around.
• Does anyone here hold the javelin world record? No?
  Well, it was a long shot.
• A Kenyan won the marathon race again. Kenya believe their dominance in this event?
• Runners build their stamina run day at a time.
• The married couple always ran together in the mornings because they were the running
• The student easily won the winding cross country race because he was good at jog-graphy.
• Track runners inspire me. They get over all the hurdles in their way.
• At a community sports meet, athletes competed with prisoners.
  It was hard to gauge the outcome. There were pros and cons.
• The runner lost his lead in the 5000 meter race because of a lap-se in concentration.
• In a marathon, a man finished 10 minutes before his dad and 20 minutes before his grandpa. It was a generational gap.
• Runners have a special camaraderie. It’s All For Run And Run For All.
• Sprinters are only good in the short run.
• Marathon runners have a hard time sprinting, but they do better in the long run.
• When all the numbers had a race, the number 1 emerged victorious. This is because he one.
• When a group of Mexican had a race, all of them emerged victorious. This is because they Juan.
• Runner deal with problems by taking everything in stride.
• Don’t just chase your dreams. Run them down!
• The surgeon general says it is okay to smoke the competition.
• If a Russian athlete wins in a Pyeongchang event, does that mean they’re Medaling with the Olympics?
• A vegetarian quit track and field. He didn’t like meets!
• Athletes are so cool because they have lots of fans.
• Runners know the importance of going to college because education pays off in the long run.

Athletics Jokes

Athletics sports are the ultimate playground for humor, where every sprint, leap, and throw offers a chance to crack a joke. Picture a sprinter saying, “I’m on a fast track to success!” Or a high jumper quipping, “I believe in reaching new heights of success!”

Javelin throwers might joke, “I’m just here to ‘spear’head the competition,” while discus throwers might add, “I’ve got a lot of ‘spin’ on the game.” Even the pole vaulter’s life motto might be, “When life gets tough, it’s not my ‘vault’!” And for the shot putters, it’s all about, “Making sure my jokes are as solid as my throws.”

So next time you’re lacing up your sneakers or heading to the track, remember that in athletics, a good laugh is just as important as a good performance. After all, in the race of life, it’s not just about crossing the finish line – it’s about having a great time while you’re at it!

Q: How does a shot putter get his shot put to other countries?
A: Heathrow

Q: How could the runner run for 3-hours but only move two feet?
A: He only had two feet!

Q: Why did the Scandinavians win the team marathon?
A. They started near the Finnish line.

Q: Why don’t athletes like traveling by train?
A: There are too many coaches.

Q: Where do you find the chattiest track athletes?
A: At discus.

Q: What were the last words of the physical education teacher?
A: All javelins to me

Q: Why do athletes like to run along the ocean?
A: For the Endolphins.

Q: What do you get when a discus lands in someone’s garden on a hill?
A: A high discus plant.

Q: Which track and field sport do haters of Russia enjoy the most?
A: Shot Putin.

Q: How do you get a runner to remember you?
A: Jog their memory.

Q: Why do athletes buy discounted protein?
A: Because it’s whey cheaper

Q: Why did the pig lose at the track meet?
A: He pulled a HAM string.

Q: Why did the runner need a loan?
A: Oxygen Debt

Q: What Olympic sport will Ukrainians always beat Russian in?
A: The javelin thrown.

Q: How do barbers always win their race?
A: They take short cuts.

Q: Which track event has a height limit?
A: Short put.

Q: Why did the athlete eat a lightbulb? (OC)
A: Because it was an electro-light!

Q: How do runners see at night?
A: With electrolytes.

Q: Where do crazy sprinters like to run?
A: On the psycho path.

Q: How do you gain one second on the person you’re racing?
A: Tell them their shoe laces are untied.

Q: How do you gain ten seconds on the person you’re racing?
A: Untie their shoe laces.

Q: How do you gain twenty seconds on the person you’re racing?
A: Tie their shoe laces together.

Q: What’s black and white and can’t turn around in an elevator?
A: A nun with a javelin.

Q: Why don’t runners take a nap during a race?
A: If you snooze, you lose!

Q: Why do runners seem to get all the attention?
A: They’re a-track-tive.

Q: Which city has the most relay racers?
A: Baton Rouge.

Q: What’s an athlete’s favorite snack?
A: Championchips.

Q: Why couldn’t anyone hear the runners training?
A: They were wearing sneakers.

• Throwing a javelin is like playing the bagpipes. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.
• A man walks into a bar… because he has a fear of getting over hurdles.
• I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes.
  My mom was all-American sprinter.
  My dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
  So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
• A man created a new athletic shoe called Hikes, but it flopped.
  He was telling everyone who visited his store to take a Hike.
• The other runners were complaining about the athlete from Finland.
  They said he’s already Finnish before the race starts.
• Dad : When I’m with my family, I’m the pacemaker.
  Friend : Oh… you guys like to run?
  Dad : No… I literally have a pacemaker in me.
• After a popular athlete lost an important race, his wife suggested that he place a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck.
  He’s been undie-feeted ever since.
• Watching the sports coverage, the presenter said it was time to see Who Won What.
  I told my son and wife “Ah yes, the promising young Chinese athlete”.
• Did you hear some gymnasts were allowed to try out for the Olympic team more than once?
  I thought it was just revaulting
• Thor threw his hammer so far it became Mjol-far.
• The runner was carrying a cabbage because he wanted to be ahead.
• A rookie journalist walked up to a track and field athlete to get an interview.
  Journalist : “Are you a polevaulter?”
  Athlete : “Nein, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Eyesore.
  Eyesore who?
  Eyesore from running hurdles —can we take the elevator?
• Did you hear about the first treadmill? It was called “Road”.
• The star athlete threw away his assignment. His professor asked him to discus it.
• An Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman wanted to see the Olympics, but they didn’t have tickets. They went to see if they could sneak in, but there was a guard at the rear entrance which is also where the competing athletes entered.
  The Englishman looks around and sees a long pole on the ground and gets an idea.
  He grabs the pole and walks up to the guard and says “Bentley. England. Pole Vaulting.”
  The guard thinks he’s an athlete and let’s him in.
  The Scotsman sees this and thinks he could try too. He grabs a manhole cover and walks up to the guard. “MacGregor. Scotland. Discus.” and the guard lets him in.
  The Irishman looks all over for something to help get him in and sees a bale of barbed wire. He grabs the bale and proudly exclaims to the guard…
  “Murphy. Ireland. Fencing.”
• My parents are mixed-race.
  My Dad likes the 100m sprint and my Mom prefers the 400m hurdles
• I’m fed up of listening to Olympic athletes say how much work they put in and the sacrifices they made. What do they want a medal?

As we wrap up our dashing tour of athletic sports, remember that while athletes are busy breaking records and pushing limits, they’re also experts at breaking up the seriousness with a bit of humor. From high jumpers who are always reaching new heights in both their sport and their jokes, to marathon runners who are “running” on laughter and coffee, athletics prove that competition doesn’t have to be all work and no play. 

So if you ever find yourself in a tight spot, just remember: if athletes can hurdle over obstacles with a smile, you can certainly tackle your own challenges with a chuckle. So gear up, get moving, and keep those puns as fresh as your sneakers. After all, in the game of life, a good laugh might just be the best exercise you can get!