Once again, tis the season for Christmas puns, where every noel is a chance to crack a smile! Did you know that Christmas trees were once banned in England? In 1644, the Puritans deemed them too pagan and outlawed them, but thankfully, we can now deck the halls with boughs of holly – pun intended!

Puns are the perfect way to spread holiday cheer. Whether you’re at a festive gathering or just trying to jingle some laughter into your day, these clever puns and jokes can make anyone fa-la-la-la-laugh! Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his wrap skills!

From holiday treats to winter wonderlands, Christmas puns are the gingerbread icing on the cake of this joyous season. So, buckle up your sleigh belts and prepare for a sleigh-full of puns that will have you ho-ho-ho-ing all the way! Whether you’re feeling tree-mendously festive or just a bit elfish, there’s a pun for everyone this Christmas.

Christmas Puns

• Crisps-mas – A potato chip holiday.
• Crips-mas – Snoop Dogg’s favourite holiday.
• Cuisse-mas – A historical knight’s holiday.
• Cyst-mas – When you get a pimple as big and red as Rudolph’s nose on Christmas.
• Christ-mass – Physicists version of Christmas.
• Christ-masseuse – A massage therapist who works on the holidays.
• Christ-mels – A camel decked with boughs of holly.
• Christ-mews – What Christmas is in Cat-glish.
• Christ-muse – Deep thinking during Christmas.
• Christ-mmus – Hummus made from Christmas dinner leftovers.
• Christ-mouse – Santa’s other little helper.
• Christ-moose – Backup reindeer.
• Christ-mousse – A deliciously sweet holiday.
• Christ-mutts – What dogs celebrate in December.
• Christ-musk – When a skunk joins a Christmas party.
• Christ-shmooze – A holiday full of chit-chat
• Christ-shmoose (Biology pun) – When it snows DNA Microproteins.
• Christ-wuss – When someone’s scared of snow, and trees, and santa, and twinkly lights.
• Abyss-mas – Holidays for creepy dark chasms.
• Beast-mas – Holidays for weird creatures.
• Bliss-mas – When everything’s perfect on Christmas.
• Brie-smas – A very cheesy Christmas.
• Breeze-mas – A nice windy Christmas.
• *Deez mas –A season of got em’. (TBD)
• Dreams-mas – Sweet dreams of Christmas.
• Drip-smas – A swaggy Christmas.
• Eclipse-mas – When the moon’s blocked by the Earth’s shadow on Christmas.
• Fish-smas – Holidays for fishies.
• Fish and Chips-mas – Christmas from across the pond.
• Frizz-mas – A very hairy Christmas.
• Feast-mas – A Christmas full of deliciousness.
• Frites-mas – Christmas for potatoes.
• Freeze-mas – When you’re stuck in the snow on Christmas.
• Geese-mas – Goose Christmas!
• Grease-mas – Mechanics’ Christmas/ John Travolta’s favourite holiday.
• Greece-mas – Christmas in Greece.
• Hiss-mas – What snakes celebrate every December.
• Kiss-mas – A very smoochey Christmas.
• Knits-mas – A very busy holiday for grandmas.
• Krills-mas – Every hungry whale’s favourite day.
• Myth-mas – Some say this holiday doesn’t exist.
• Miss-mas – When you’re missing Christmas already.
• Mist-mas – Foggy Christmas.
• Neat-smas – A very tidy Christmas.
• Pre-smas – What comes before Christmas.
• Priest-mas – Holidays for priests.
• Quiche-mas – A celebration for the beloved eggy tart.
• Quiz-mas – Test about Christmas.
• Ritz-mas – Holidays for cheese crackers.
• Quince-mas – What pears celebrate in December.
• Reminisce-mas – Remembering past Christmases on the present Christmas day.
• Swiss Cheese-mas – Every mice’s favourite holiday.
• Sweets-mas – A candy-filled holiday.
• Shrimp and Grits-mas – A very southern Christmas.
• Twist-mas – A pretzel’s favourite holiday.
• Tweet-smas – Holidays for little birds.
• Yeast-mas – Holidays for leavened bread.

Christmas Related Puns

Ah, Christmas puns –  the merry mischief of the holiday season! Why did the Christmas cookie go to the party? Because it heard it would be a sweet time! And let’s not forget about Santa’s favorite type of music: wrap music, of course! If you think that’s cheesy, just wait until you hear about the Christmas lights that called each other stupid – they said they were too dim to shine together!

So, while you’re hanging up those ornaments, remember: it’s the season to be punny! Let the holiday spirit fill the air with laughter, and may your Christmas be packed with joy and plenty of giggles!

• Banter Claus – When Santa’s got jokes.
• Cent-a Claus – A very stingy gift-giver.
• Centaur Claus – One third horse, one third man, one third Santa.
• Chicken Tender Claus – Deep fried crispy Santa.
• Defender Claus – Superhero Santa.
• Fanta Claus – A bubbly soda Santa.
• Manta Claus – A gift-giving underwater holiday manta ray.
• Mentor Claus – When old Saint Nick starts to train his son to take over his role.
• Panda Claus – A beary cute and lovable Santa.
• Plant-a Claus – A green leafy Santa.
• Santa-na Claus – An electric guitar playing Santa.
• Sando Claus – A fat red and white Japanese sandwich.
• Sandy Claus – Santa on a beach vacation.
• San-tea Claus – A warm comforting beverage for Santa.
• Shanty Claus – A musical pirate Santa.
• Santa Claws – A feisty cat in a Santa suit.
• Santa Cross – Angry Santa.
• Santa Draws – Santa’s undies.
• Santa Drawls – How Texan Santas speak.
• Santa Flaws – When Santa’s just as human as everyone else.
• Santa Floss – If the tooth fairy became Santa.
• Santa Gnaws – A beaver in a red and white suit.
• Santa Jaws – Shark Santa.
• Santa Moss – If Santa stayed in the forest for too long.
• Santa Paws – Little animals’ favourite holiday figure.
• Santa Sauce – A tasty condiment.
• Elf-alfa – What pet rabbits of elves eat.
• Elf-abet – ABCs for elves.
• Elfa – Old greek letter A for elves.
• Elf-acca – A fuzzy miniature alpaca from the North Pole.
• Elf-anumeric – Elf password format.
• Elf-bow – Tiny elf arm joints.
• Elforn – An elve’s favourite loud instrument.
• Elf-fish – Lobsters and shrimp who help Santa.
• Elf-leven – An elf’s favourite number/ A mind-controlling elf.
• Swiss Elfs – Mountaintops for elves.
• What the elf?
• Don’t be elfish.
• Elf-absorbed/ Elf-centered.
• Have your elf a very merry Christmas.
• Wishing you good elf and happiness.
• Are we going to address the elf-ant in the room?
• Girls just wanna elf fun.
• Rain-deer – When it rains heavier than cats and dogs.
• Brain-deer – Really smart pink squishy deer.
• Mein-deer – How Hitler calls his pet deers. His favourite reindeer is Rudolf.
• Nein-deer – I got no i-deer.
• Plane-deer – If Rudolph and a plane had a baby.
• Plain-deer – Just a normal deer.
• Train-deer – If Rudolph and a train had a baby.
• Vein-deer – They carry blood vessels.
• I love you deerly.
• You are very deer to me.
• I’m sorry, that was rude-olph me.
• Comet me, bro.
• Are you cupid?
• Cupid mayo – Japanese mayonnaise that comes out from the reindeer.
• Dasher great idea!
• Just a dasher cinnammon.
• Dasher what she said!
• Dancer even better suggestion.
• I’m a donner.
• Donner-ver forget where you came from.
• Donnet – A fried reindeer with a hole in the middle topped with sprinkles.
• Donner/Donder/Dunder Mifflin – A reindeer paper company from Scranton.
• Donner Duck – If Donald Duck and Donner had a baby.
• Blitzen-krieg Bop by the Ramones.
• Ballroom Blitzen by Sweet.
• Just a little blitz.
• Have yule self a merry little Christmas.
• Virt-yule reality.
• Yule-Tide – Christmas scented laundry detergent.
• Just be yuleself.
• Yule be missed.
• Yule Never Walk Alone.
• Happy holly-days!
• O’ Holly Night.
• For he’s a holly good fellow.
• Holly-ver Twist by Charles Dickens.
• Peanut butter and jolly sandwich.
• Jollybeans – Happy candy.
• Snow-ble – An honorable snowflake.
• Sknow – Very wise snow.
• Sno -–  The opposite of syes.
• Snown-fiction – Real stories about snow.
• Snow-melette – Every snowflake’s favourite egg dish.
• Telesnowvela – Soap operas for snowflakes.
• Snow down or you’ll get hurt!
• If you snow what I mean.
• Rain, rain, snow away.
• Stop disrupting my snow.
• Oh snow!
• Oh snow is me.
• Asnowther one bites the dust.
• Snow, snow, snow your boat.
• Snow-flake – Snow that doesn’t show up on time or at all.
• Ice spy, with my little eye…
• Have an ice day!
• Ice see…
• Icicle – A frozen biclycle.
• Icicle – Ice popsicles.
• Romeo and Juliet, a tale of star-frost lovers.
• Raiders of The Frost Ark.
• Ginger-bread – Ed Sheeran holding a baguette.
• Yin-ger bread – Bread with negative passive energy.
• Ninjabread – Highly skilled assassin cookies.
• JINJER-bread – Metalcore bread rockband from Ukraine.
• Ginger bells, ginger bells, ginger all the way!
• Single bells – When you’re alone on Christmas.
• Jingle Ladies by Beyon-sleigh.
• Jinglebread houses and jinglebread men.
• Sleigh girl sleigh!
• Sleigh it ain’t so, I just saw snow.
• Scrooge over, make some room!
• Fir he’s a jolly good fellow!
• The tree wise men.

Christmas Jokes

Christmas jokes are like holiday ornaments – some are a bit tacky, but they all bring a smile! Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose! And speaking of snowmen, what do you call a snowman with a tan? A puddle!

Kids ask Santa for toys, but the real question is, what does Santa want? To wrap up the year on a high note! Ever wonder why Santa’s workshop is so efficient? Because he always has a team of elf-icient workers!

And let’s not forget about the Christmas tree. Why did it get in trouble? It kept pining for attention! Just remember, if you hear a reindeer laughing, it’s probably just Rudolph telling his best “deer” jokes! So grab some eggnog, gather the family, and get ready to chuckle your way through the holiday season – laughter is the best gift of all!

Q: What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
A: Jolly ranchers.

Q: What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
A: Chemis-tree!

Q: What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?
A: Santa CLUES!

Q: How does a snowman lose weight?
A: He waits for the weather to get warmer!

Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
A: Nice gnawing you!

Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.

Q: Why don’t lobsters celebrate Christmas?
A: Because they’re shell-fish.

Q: What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A: Rude-olph.

Q: What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A: A cari-boo.

Q: Where does Santa keep all his money?
A: At the local snow bank.

Q: What do you call a broke Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.

Q: How do you wash your hands over the holidays?
A: With Santa-tizer.

Q: What does Santa eat for breakfast?
A: Mistle toast!

Q: What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas time?
A: A sad candy cane!

Q: What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?
A: Fir he’s a jolly good fellow.

Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?
A: They log-on.

Q: How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
A: Nurse them back to elf.

Q: Where do reindeer go for coffee?
A: Star-bucks!

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps!

Q: What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
A: Hits a gnome and runs.

Q: What do fish sing during the holidays?
A: Christmas corals.

Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A: A Holly Davidson!

Q: How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
A: Merry Christmas to ewe.

Q: What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
A: Geome-tree!

Q: What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
A: Silent Night.

Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses.

Q: Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?
A: Because he has private elf care!

Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A: Crisp Kringle.

Q: What do snowmen call their offspring?
A: Chill-dren.

Q: What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
A: Oh caaamel ye faithful.

Q: What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
A: Idaho-ho-ho.

Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Iceberg-ers.

Q: What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Q: What is Santa’s dogs name?
A: Santa Paws!

Q: What do you call a pig pen in winter?
A: A pigloo.

Q: How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
A: They spruce up!

Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?
A: A treeangle!

Q: What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
A: Wait, there’s myrrh.

Q: What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A: A meltdown.

Q: What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?
A: Pines and needles!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What do you call a blind reindeer?
A: I have no eye deer.

Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!

Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had very low elf esteem.

Q: What does Santa do with out of shape elves?
A:  Sends them to an elf farm.

Q: Where do little trees go to become Christmas trees?
A: Elementree school!

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy!

Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?
A: Because they always drop their needles!

Q: Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
A: Because it makes a good stocking filler.

Q: Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
A: Dancer!

Q: How long are an elf’s legs?
A: Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q: What does a bunny rabbit hang by the fireplace?
A: Vegetable stalk-ings.

Q: What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A: A sleigh station.

Q: What’s every present’s favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soot’s him.

Q: What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
A: Ornamints.

Q: Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of?
A: Comet.

Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker!

Q: What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
A: It looks like rain, deer.

Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
A: Elfis.

Q: What do mice send to each other at Christmas?
A: Christ-mouse cards!

Q: What’s a reindeer’s favorite game?
A: Stable tennis.

Q: What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
A: He gives them the sack!

Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinsil-itis!

Q: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
A: Snow and tell.

Q: What kind of photos do elves take?
A: Elfies!

Q: Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
A: Spruce Springsteen.

Q: Why did Santa go to the liquor store?
A: He was looking for holiday spirits.

Q: What month does a Christmas tree hate the most?
A: Sep-timber!

Q: What do you call someone who can’t stop talking about last Christmas?
A: Santamental.

Q: What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
A: Snow!

Q: What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you!

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed to be trimmed!

Q: What kind of money do reindeer use?
A: Bucks!

Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has No-el.

Q: Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
A: Their days are numbered!

Q: How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: What does an elf study in school?
A: The elf-abet.

Q: Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much?
A: She sleighs.

Q: What do reindeer use to communicate?
A: The antlernet.

Q: What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers?
A: Truth or deer.

Q: How do snowmen get around?
A: They ride an icicle!

Q: What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
A: Santa Pause.

Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?
A: You can always sense his presents.

Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?
A: The ghost of Christmas passed!

Q: What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A: Horn-aments.

Q: How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A: He refers to his calen-deer.

Q: Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A: It had no legs.

Q: What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas?
A: ‘Tis the season to be jelly!

Q: What athlete is warmest in winter?
A: A long jumper!

Q: What would you give a dog as a present for Christmas?
A: A mobile bone.

Q: What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
A: Limp Bizkit.

Q: What type of cars do the elves of Santa Claus drive?
A: Toy-otas.

Q: Why do mummies like Christmas presents so much?
A: They’re into all the wrapping.

Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can ‘hohoho’!

Q: Which month of the year is the coldest?
A: Decem-brr.

Q: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
A: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

Q: What part of the body do you only see during Christmas?
A: Mistletoe.

Q: What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A: A list of what you want.

Q: What did Ebenezer Scrooge teach the sheep to say?
A: Baaa humbug.

Q: What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
A: Santa walking backwards!

Q: What’s Santa’s favorite salty snack?
A: Crisp Pringles.

Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner, and always wet?
A: Because they are rain deer.

Q: What do you call an explosive amphibian that people kiss under on Christmas?
A: A missile-toad.

Q: When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
A: Sandy Claus.

Q: Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
A: Because the present’s beneath them.

Q: What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes ribbit, ribbit?
A: A Mistle-toad.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?
A: It needed a root canal!

Q: What does Mrs. Claus cook with in the kitchen?
A: U-tinsels.

Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
A: May the forest be with you!

Q: What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?
A: Yule-Tide.

Q: What’s a reindeer’s favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

Q: What did Santa say to the smoker?
A: Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

Q: What do bowls of soup hang up on their fireplace?
A: Stock-ings.

Q: What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A: Cookie sheets!

Q: How did the reindeer know it was going to rain?
A: Because Rudolph the red-knows-rain, deer!

Q: What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast?
A: Hold on for deer life.

Q: How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?
A: They signed a peace tree-ty!

Q: What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?
A: Christmas chopping!

Q: What do you call a smelly Santa?
A: “Farter Christmas”.

Q: What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A: A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus.

Q: Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
A: Because he went down in history.

Q: What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?
A: Present.

Q: What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?
A: Christmas Chopin.

Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A: The turkey—he’s always stuffed!

Q: What is the Christmas carol that you can sing to fruits?
A: “Have Yourself A Berry Little Christmas.

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!

Q: What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Claus-trophobia!

Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle Smells!

Q: What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
A: The Who!

Q: Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
A: Because every single buck is dear to him!

Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
A: He was picking his nose!

Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause!

Q: Why are elves such great motivational speakers?
A: They have plenty of elf-confidence.

Q: What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: You get tinsel-it is.

Q: Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree?
A: It was afraid of the bark.

• Knock, knock! Who’s there?
  Donut.
  Donut who?
  Donut open ’til Christmas!

• Knock, knock!
  Who’s there?
  Pikachu.
  Pikachu who?
  Pikachu Christmas presents and you’ll be in trouble.

• I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.
• I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
• My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus. He gives me presents and is imaginary.
• There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable…
• You can tell Santa is a man, because no woman would ever wear the same outfit every year.
• Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
• Son: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas?
  Mother: No, you’ll have turkey just like the rest of us.

As we wrap up this festive fun, remember: Christmas puns and jokes are the gift that keeps on giving! They’re like ornaments on the tree – some are shiny, some are silly, but all add sparkle to the season. So, whether you’re decking the halls with laughter or just trying to sleigh your family’s holiday spirit, keep those jokes rolling! After all, nothing says “merry” quite like a good chuckle. So, don your best ugly sweater, gather around the fireplace, and let the puns flow freely – because the only thing better than a cozy Christmas is a hilariously pun-filled one!