120+ Geography Puns That Are Out Of This World

You’ve mapped you way into the world of geography puns, where the jokes are always on point, and the humor is more than just surface level! Did you know that the world’s largest desert isn’t the Sahara but Antarctica? That’s right! It seems even the coldest place on Earth wanted to chill out and keep things frosty. Just like the icy terrain, geography humor can be cool, refreshing, and filled with unexpected twists!

In this delightful realm, we’ll navigate through the continents of comedy, scaling the heights of humor and exploring the depths of wit. Why did the map get kicked out of the party? Because it was too territorial! Whether we’re taking a trip to the land of puns or getting lost in a maze of latitude and longitude, there’s no shortage of laughter here.

So, fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a journey across mountains of hilarious puns and valleys of clever jokes. From tectonic plate jokes that will shake you to your core to jokes about rivers that will have you flowing with laughter, geography puns are a destination you won’t want to miss!

Geography Puns

  • Ant-artica – Wife of Uncle Artica.
  • Ant-artica – Where there are lots of frozen ants.
  • Indonesia – Opposite of Outdonesia
  • Ei-full Tower – Tower in France that ate so much food it’s stuffed.
  • San Frandisco – City with a lot of clubs playing 70’s music.
  • Earth. It means the world to me.
  • Date Sea – Where people go on swimming dates.
  • Plateaus – The highest form of flattery.
  • Mississippi – Four eyed state.
  • Russia – Country in a hurry.
  • Mini-sota – Smallest state in the US.

Geography Related Puns

Geography puns are the ultimate way to map out your humor! Picture this: a geography teacher told her students to take a hike, and they all ended up in the wrong location! It’s like they took the scenic route but forgot to pack a sense of direction! Speaking of directions, why do geographers always carry a pencil? Because they like to draw their own conclusions! And let’s not forget the classic: why did the ocean break up with the pond? Because it found someone deeper! Here’s another – Did you hear about the Geography professor who kicked students out of his class if they showed him bad lattitude? Whether you’re lost in the mountains of puns or sailing across a sea of jokes, geography puns will always help you find your way to a good time!

  • Geography is lava at first sight.
  • Mark Twain said, “God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
  • Smart Geography students never get lost.
  • Spiders make great cartographers. They specialize in web-based maps.
  • My grade for geography will be out of this world.
  • I love maps. I’d be totally lost without them.
  • Earth. It’s a space-cial place to me.
  • I just love the way Earth rotates, it really makes my day.
  • Geology totally rocks but geography is where it’s at.
  • I know someone who’s great at reading maps. He’s a legend.
  • The gardening store had a sale on Earth. It was cheap as dirt.
  • Mountains are more than funny. They’re absolutely hill areas.
  • Haters gonna hate, equators gonna equate.
  • I finally found my map. Atlast.
  • The mountains were so infatuated with volcanoes because they’re so hot.
  • The grouchy cartographer was asked to leave the map-making club because he had a bad attitude.
  • The cartography club planned a journey south east. They did some downright good navigation.
  • I gotta give a shout out to Earth. I keeps me grounded.
  • My friends Sydney and Adelaide are from New Zealand.
  • Geography lessons are great.They’re world class.
  • I’m not sure if my wife likes the cold. Alaska later.
  • Make geography puns? There’s Norway I’ll go Oslo as that!
  • Don’t trust map makers.They’re always plotting something.
  • Geography puns are quite frankly out of this world.
  • Geographers never die. They just become legends.
  • I like geography. You know where you stand with it.

Geography Jokes

Geography jokes are the passport to laughter! Why did the geography book always seem so sad? Because it had too many problems! And what did one tectonic plate say to the other? “I think we’re drifting apart!” It’s impossible not to laugh at the irony when a mountain climber throws a tantrum and apologizes, “I’m sorry for my bad latitude just now!” Ever heard about the guy who went to all seven continents? He said he wanted to make sure his jokes had global appeal! When it comes to rivers, you can always trust them to flow with humor, like the one that asked, “Why do rivers never get lost? Because they always follow their course!” So grab your map and your sense of humor – geography jokes are a journey worth taking – full of twists, turns, and plenty of puns along the way!

Q. Why do paper maps always lose at poker?
A. Because they always fold.

Q: What do geographers grow in their gardens? 
A: Compass roses.

Q: Why are telescopes always pointed away from earth?
A:  Because we use them to look for intelligent life.

Q: What is smarter, longitude or latitude?
A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In riverbanks.

Q: What do you call a city without mini apples?
A: Mini-apple-less.

Q:Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot?
A:The North and South Poles.

Q: Where do pencils come from?
A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Why did the geography student drown?
A: His grades were below C-level.

Q: What did Delaware?
A: New Jersey

Q: What runs but never gets out of breath?
A: A river.

Q: What did the father volcano say to his son volcano?
A: I lava you

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You really crack me up!

Q: What four man rock group doesn’t sing?
A: Mount Rushmore!’

Q: How does the sea greet the shore?
A: It waves!

Q: What’s the capital of Washington?
A: W.

Q: What do you call a map guide to the Alcatraz prison?
A: A con-tour map.

Q: What sort of dessert roams wild in the Arctic circle?
A: Moose.

Q: What’s big, white, furry and always points North?
A: A Polar Bearing.

Q: Why is a library so high?
A: It has so many stories.

Q: What birds are found in Portugal?
A: Portu-geese!

Q: Why do Republicans stay away from the West Coast?
A: They’re afraid to be so close to the edge of the Earth.

Q: How do geographers find the love of their life?
A: They datum. (meaning of datum here)

Q: What is the fastest country in the world?
A: Russia

Q: What’s another fast country?
A: Iran.

Q: What are the small rivers that run into the Nile?
A: The juve-niles!

Q: Why is Alabama the smartest state?
A: Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! 

Q: What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
A: Oops! My fault! sorry!

Q: What do fish and maps alike?
A: They both have scales!

Q: Where do crayons like to go on vacation?
A: Color-ado

Q: What is the most polite building in the world?
A: The leaning tower of Please-a

Q: Why is John Wayne like a map key?
A: They’re both legends.

Q:What stays in the corner but travels all round the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: What do penguins wear on their heads to keep warm?
A: Ice caps.

Q: What do you call a cow that draws maps?
A: A cow-tographer

Q: What has a mouth but cannot eat?
A: A river.

Q: What do you get if you put a yellow rock in the Red Sea?
A: It gets wet!

Q: What is the biggest mark in the world?
A: Denmark.

Q: What is the biggest pan in the world?
A: Japan

Q: Why was the map gesturing like crazy?
A: It was an animated map.

Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle?
A: Ohio. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)

Q: Which cow is big but doesn’t give milk?
A: Moscow

Q: Which is the biggest rope in the world?
A: Europe.

Q: Which U.S. state does the most laundry?
A: Washington.

Q: Whats covered with moss and goes moo?
A: Moscow.

Q: Why are compasses and scales intelligent?
A: They’re all graduated.

Q: What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
A: Eski-moose

Q: What goes thousands and thousands of miles but never moves?
A: Highways

Q: Where can you find an ocean with no water?
A: On a map.

Q: What has four eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of Canada and USA, where would they bury the survivors?
A: You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are people who lived! 
(well… okay… technically this is a sneaky question, but it uses Geography to try and fool you, so it qualifies.)

Q: Why does Mississippi keep bumping into other states?
A: It has four “i”s but cannot see.

Q: Why is it easy to get into Florida?
A: Because there are so many keys. 

Q: What city always cheats at exams?
A: Peking 

Q: Why was the Egyptian boy worried?
A: His daddy be came a mummy! (Not exactly a Geography joke, but it but heck)

  • Billy : Why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
    Sam : It’s not a zero. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
  • Earth became jealous because we only celebrate Earth Day once a year, but celebrate Sun Day every week.
  • Geography is not my favorite subject, but I know the name of one city in France, which is Nice.
  • My son is so bad at Geography that when I sent him to his room he ended up in the kitchen.
  • I really need a vacation, but with my workload, I don’t know Hawaii can leave.
  • Whenever I try to sleep in one particular airport in England, the security guard finds me and Heathrows me out.
  • Old geographers never die, they just lose their bearings.
  • The flat earth society is gaining members all around the globe.
  • My geography is bad. The box my new TV came in said “Built In Antenna.” I have no idea where Antenna is.
  • Student : I don’t think I’ll be any good at geography.
    Geography teacher: You’ve just got to change your latitude!
  • Teacher: Which is larger, the North or South Pole?
    Student: South?
    Teacher: Wrong! The North Pole is in the Arctic. The South is in the ANT-Arctic.
  • Teacher: Janice, please point to America on the map.
    Janice : Here it is.
    Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
    Class: Janice did.
  • If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska!
  • A joke about world-geography is kind of like healthcare … Lots of Americans won’t get it.
  • On the first day of school, I signed up for English, Math, Science, and Geography. The rest, as they say, is History.
    (probably more of a History one liner, but heck)
  • Teacher: Where were you born?
    Student: India.
    Teacher: Which part?
    Student : What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in India!
  • A mother noticed her little daughter praying.
    “Please, God,” the little girl prayed. “Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia.”
    “Why did you make pray for Melaka to be the capital cityof Malaysia?” the mother asked.
    “Because that’s what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!”
  • Teacher: What shape is the earth?
    Student: Square! 
    Teacher: Why? 
    Student:Because, my Dad says he’s traveled all four corrners of the world!
  • It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
  • Teacher : “It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”
    Student : “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!”
  • My dad told me that Earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.
    I told her, “that’s not right.”
    He Googled it to prove that it was true.
    I said, “Exactly… if it was right, it’d be 90 degrees.”
  • Aliens haven’t visited Earth because it only has one star.
  • My flat-earther friend decided to travel to the edge of the earth to prove it is flat. In the end, he came around.
  • Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
    Student: I didn’t even know it was sick!
  • The robber waved a gun and warned the bank teller: “Fill up this bag with cash or else you’re geography!”
    “You mean history?”
    “Don’t change the subject!”
  • I heard the best geography joke today…
    I would tell you but you had to be there.
  • My dad’s not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language.
    But there’s nothing that says he can’t teach Japanese cooking and geography.
    So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
  • Teacher: “It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”
    Student: “Well, my dad says the world is constantly changing. So, I decided to wait until it settles down!”
  • What is an island?
    A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
    On one side?
    Yes, on top!
  • Once upon a time, I dated a teacher
    First there was chemistry between us.
    When we broke up there was history between us.
    Now that she’s moved away there is geography between us.
  • Two blondes are in geography class together…
    One asks the other
    “Which is closer, London or the moon”
    The other replies
    “The moon of course, can you see London?”
    (I wonder how you’d tell this joke if the blondes where in London?)
  • Teacher: Who knows where the English Channel is?
    Student: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up.
  • Son doing his Geography homework…Son: Dad, where’s the Andes?
    Dad: At the end of your armies!
  • Knock, knock…
    Who’s there?…
    Ivan…
    Ivan who?…
    Ivan awful headache after reading all these jokes on the geographical jokes!
  • Knock, knock…
    Who’s there?….
    Wendy….
    Wendy who?…
    Wendy river bends we call it a meander.
We’ve finished our global travels and found geography puns and jokes are a fantastic way to explore humor and navigate the landscape of wit! Geography puns and jokes remind us that humor knows no borders. So, next time you find yourself in a conversation about continents or climates, sprinkle in a pun or two to lighten the mood. Let’s keep the laughter flowing and map out more giggles in our daily travels!

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