Welcome to the world of soccer puns, where the jokes are always on target and the laughs never miss the goal! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just learning to dribble through the wordplay, this lineup of puns is sure to leave you kicking with laughter. Before we kick-off on our field of soccer puns and jokes, here’s a bit of interesting facts about soccer.

Soccer is surely the most popular sport in the world. We dare say that over half of the world is either a soccer fan or watches a soccer match every now than then – especially during the FIFA World Cup  Billions of people may be separated by land, sea, culture and ideology, but when it comes to soccer, everybody has one thing in common – a passionate love for the game. Soccer has been called the bond that holds the world together.

Soccer in every country other than the US is called football. Their completely different games with completely different balls. We’re calling it soccer here because there’s a separate page for American Football Puns. However, whether it’s puns for soccer or football, they have one thing in common they’re FUNNY! So here’s our collection of soccer pun, jokes and one liners that we hope you will get a kick out of.

Ready for a kick-off? Let’s dive into the action, because these puns are about to score big!
Picture this: the ball’s rolling, the crowd’s cheering, and you’re about to deliver a pun so good, it might just get a standing ovation. Maybe you’re talking to a defender who really knows how to block a punchline, or maybe your teammate just made a joke so bad, it went wide of the goal. Either way, these puns are here to keep your humor on the ball.

When it comes to soccer, the possibilities for puns are endless. Is your favorite striker goal-ing above and beyond? Or maybe your defense is sweeping away the competition. Don’t worry if your jokes are a little offside – just kick it up a notch and let them shoot their shot. Even when a pun gets a bit deflated, there’s always a chance for a comeback!

Whether you’re warming up with some easy jokes or going for a hat trick of laughter, soccer puns will always keep you in the game. So, take a deep breath, step up to the penalty spot, and let these puns score a place in your heart!

Soccer Puns

• Socker – The game of soccer where players don’t wear boots.
• Shock-ccer – When electric eels play soccer.
• Shock-ccer – Soccer during a lightning storm.
• Slog-cer – Very tiring soccer match.
• Soc-kern – Game where players need to keep a set distance between one another.
• Soc-kerb – Playing soccer by the roadside.
• Soc-kurd – Soccer in Kurdistan.
• Soft-ccer – Playing soccer with a deflated ball.
• Sloth-ccer – Very, very, very slow soccer.
• Sod-ccer – Game played by obnoxious teams.
• Soy-ccer – Soccer for vegans.
• Soak-ccer – Soccer in the pouring rain.
• Soak-ccer – Playing soccer in the shower because it’s raining outside.
• Soap-ccer – Very clean game of soccer.
• Soul-ccer – Ghost soccer.
• Short-ccer – Soccer played by midgets.
• Short-ccer – 1 minute game of soccer.
• Shot-ccer – Skeet shooting with soccer balls.
• Slog-ccer – Soccer played by tired out players.
• Slob-ccer – Soccer played by dirty, untidy players.
• Slop-ccer – Splashy, messy, muddy soccer.
• Soccer ball – Where soccer players go to dance.
• Soccer bald – Soccer only for hairless players.
• Soccer bawl – When soccer fans cry like a baby if their team loses.
• Soccer match – What soccer players use to light up the stadium
• Soccer stud – Handsome, hunky soccer player.
• Suck-ccer – Soccer for losers.

Soccer Team Name Puns

• Aston Vanilla – Soccer team that loves ice cream.
• Aston Vanilla Ice – Rapping soccer team that loves ice cream.
• Asston Villa – Soccer team made up of silly players.
• Ass-ton Villa – Soccer team of donkeys.
• The Gunners – Soccer team that kicks off their match with a bang.
• Weeds United – Soccer team that plays in tall grass.
• Where’s Ham United – Soccer team that lost their food.
• West Hum United – Singing not allowed in this team.
• West Hump United – Camel soccer team.
• Manjester United – Soccer team made up of jokers.
• Manjester City – The other soccer team full of jokers.
• Manches-turd United – Shitty soccer team.
• Liverfool – Another soccer team made up of idiots.
• Liverpoop – Smelly soccer team.
• Liverpoo – Another shitty soccer team.
• Wooferhampton Wonderers – Soccer team made up of puzzled doggies.
• Waferhamptom Wanderers – Soccer team made of very thin biscuits.
• Watt-ford – Electric soccer team.
• What(?)-ford – Questionable soccer team.
• Watfjord – Icelandic soccer team.
• Notwitch City – Soccer team where witchcraft is a no-no.
• Knotwitch City – Soccer team where players always feel uneasy.
• Sour-thampton – Sore loser soccer team.
• Burntley FC – Sunburnt soccer team.
• Lightcester City – Bright soccer team.
• Lie-chester City – Soccer club that likes to lie down.
• Lie-chester City – Soccer club that doesn’t tell the truth.
• Nudecastle United – Soccer team that doesn’t believe in uniforms.
• Nubecastle United – Newcomer soccer team.
• Ass-enal – Donkey soccer team.
• Arse-senal – Soccer team that uses a lot of toilet paper.
• Arse-senal – Soccer team from Ur-anus.
• Chelsin – Sinful soccer team.
• Bentford – Crooked soccer team
• Crisptal Palace – Crunchy soccer team
• Birdmingham City – Soccer team with only wingers.
• Conventry City – Nuns only in this team.
• Middlelessborough – Players in this team don’t like to be in the middle of the field.
• Nothingham Forest – No cured meat allowed in this team.
• Halfulham – Positive thinking players in this team.
• Baaaa-celona – Sheep soccer team.
• Bug-celona – Irritating soccer team.
• Butt-celona – Soccer team for large booty player.
• Bark-celona – Soccer team for doggies.
• Barf-celona – Soccer team that plays so bad you wanna barf.
• ABCDE FC – Soccer team just learning to read.

Soccer Related Puns

When it comes to soccer puns, the words themselves are goal-dmines of humor! Take “kick,” for example. You can kick-start a conversation, kick back and relax, or even kick it up a notch when you’re feeling competitive. And when things get intense? That’s when the puns really start to shoot for the stars. Maybe your jokes are so good, they’re a real goal-getter. Or perhaps they’re a little off target, and you need to bend it like Beckham to get a laugh.

Don’t worry if your humor is offside – just dribble a new idea and pass it around! When it comes to defenders, they’re always there to block a bad joke, while strikers are constantly trying to net the best punchlines. And if a pun really scores, it’s sure to be a crowd-pleaser. Just be careful not to foul up your timing, or you might find yourself with a yellow card for bad humor.

Even the goalkeepers have a role to play – they’re always there to catch a clever punchline. So whether you’re throwing around puns like a soccer ball or just trying to stay on target, the words themselves are as flexible as a midfield player. Score a laugh, or at least keep the ball rolling!

• Ghoul-keeper – Goal keeper in a ghost soccer team.
• Gold-keeper – Goalie who wears lots of bling.
• Goal-keeper – Goalie who sets targets on his match performance.
• Rufferee – Referee in a doggie soccer match.
• Ref-free – Referee with so much time on his hands because the match is so boring.
• Ruff-free – Referee in doggie soccer.
• Meat-fielder – Cow wandering in the middle of a soccer pitch.
• Mid-feel-der – Emotional soccer player.
• Mid-fiddler – Lost violinist in the middle of a soccer match.
• Deaf-ender – Soccer player who cannot hear.
• Defend-duhh – Stupid soccer player.
• Different-der – Volleyball player the middle of a soccer match.
• Fullback – Soccer player who ate too much before the match.
• Foolback – Stupid soccer player.
• Striker – Soccer player striking against his team.
• Stripe-ker – Zebra in the middle of a soccer match.
• Wind-ger – Player who plays on the wings because he farts.
• Whine-ger – Player who plays on the wings because he whines too much.
• Wee-nger – Player who accidentally pees when excited.
• Soccerates – Greek philosopher who played soccer.
• Dino-score – When a dinosaur scores a goal in a soccer match.
• Premier-ship – Ship that holds 20 football teams, and three teams leave it each season.
• Crossbar – How the top of the goal post feels every time a ball hits him.
• Centaur forward – Greek mythical creature playing soccer.
• Penal-tea – Drink that soccer players like after a match.
• Messi – Dirty and untify soccer player.
• Roll model – Neymar
• ROTFL – Again, Neymar.
• Cristiano Rollindough – One of the richest soccer players in the world.
• Ball hogger – Pig who doesn’t pass the ball.
• Beans on the post – A goalkeeper’s favorite snack.
• Pasta bowl – How Italian players ask their team-mate to pass the ball.
• Hat trick or treat! – What a soccer player says during Halloween.
• The soccer ball quit. He was tired of being kicked around.
• Soccer players are always goal-oriented.
• Neymar was rolling on the ground in pain at a Celine Dion concert. He was touched by the music.
• Salmons are knows for their dream of being pro-fish-sional soccer players.
• I play soccer just for the kicks.
• Swimmers are awful at soccer because they keep diving.
• The best place to buy a new soccer shirt is New Jersey.
• It takes balls to play soccer.
• Soccer players are always the first to get the ball rolling in any task.
• Soccer pitches get wet very quickly because players keep dribbling.
• Soccer players like to kick off their day with a soccer match.
• Soccer is the only sport that’s not a game of inches. It’s a game of feet.
• A young lady was dating a very nice soccer player. Her dad said he was a keeper.
• My mom told me to never date a soccer player. Because there is only a one in eleven chance they are a keeper.
• Soccer players are cool because they always stay close to their fans.
• A soccer player brought a string to the game to try and tie the score.
• Chickens keep getting the red card because of persistent fowl play.
• Our dog doesn’t seem to like playing soccer with us. It’s probably because he’s a boxer.
• Cinderella is awful at soccer because she has a pumpkin for a coach.
• Cinderella is also awful at soccer because she keeps running away from the ball.
• When the pitch gets flooded, soccer teams bring on the subs.
• A soccer ball walked into a bar, but the manager kicked him out.
• Soccer players don’t like to play in the jungle because there are too many cheetahs there.
• People don’t wear spectacles at soccer matches because it’s a contact sport.

Soccer Jokes

Soccer jokes are always ready to kick things into high gear, leaving you dribbling with laughter and rolling on the ground (no fouls involved!). These jokes are the perfect way to keep the fun going, even if your delivery is a little offside. Ever hear about the soccer player who brought string to the game? He wanted to tie the score! And goalkeepers? They’re always saving the best jokes for last.

Strikers are all about those fast one-liners. They may shoot and miss, but when they land, it’s a hat trick of humor! If you’re feeling like you’ve hit a crossbar with your jokes, just remember – it’s all about the kick-back attitude. No one likes a pun that’s stuck in the midfield; you’ve got to go all the way and score that punchline.

And let’s not forget the classic: why did the soccer ball go to therapy? It had too many issues with being kicked around. These jokes aren’t just for halftime – they’ll have you laughing all the way to the final whistle. Whether you’re making the ref chuckle or cracking up your teammates, soccer jokes are bound to shoot straight for the funny bone. Just remember, the only thing you want to drop is the ball of laughter!

Q: What do soccer referees send their family and friends for Christmas?
A: Yellow cards.

Q: Why do soccer players find it so difficult to eat Indian food?
A: They think they can’t use their hands.

Q: How do you stop squirrels playing football in your garden?
A: Hide the ball. It willl drive them nuts.

Q: Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
A: The sweeper.

Q: What time is it when a soccer team chases a baseball team?
A: Eleven after nine.

Q: Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
A: He enjoyed sole music.

Q: Why did the soccer defender cross the road?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What injury did the Jewish soccer player suffer?
A: He Torah ligament.

Q: Why is a soccer player and a judge the same?
A: They both sit on the bench sometimes.

• A bad soccer team is like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.

• Knock, knock? Who’s there?August. August Who?
  A gusta go back to soccer practice!

• After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.It was the Father, Son and Goalie Host.

• Soccer is a strange game. It’s a bunch of people running away from their goals.

• David Beckham was overjoyed when he was conferred the OBE by the queen.
  His team couldn’t believe it.
  They shouted “Man, you knighted!”

• Christiano Ronaldo combs his hair every half time. He doesn’t want it to start getting Messi.

• If you’ve ever watched Zinedine Zidane boogie in the disco, you’d know it’s Murder on Zidane’s Floor.

• The England team were did not like there new paper uniform at all. They thought it was absolutely tearable.

• Lazio fans love listening to Prince. They can’t get enough of Purple Reina.

• The best soccer philosopher was obviously Soccerates.

• Arsenal fans always expect their food seasoned with salt and Pépé.

• Guardiola is a great manager because he always gives his team a great Pep talk at half time.

• A young talent was showing off his dribbling skills at practice, weaving between cones with dazzling footwork. His coach, impressed but slightly worried, walked over.
  “Great dribbling, kid,” the coach said, “but remember: we pass the ball, not hog it!”
  The kid grinned and replied, “Coach, I’m not hogging it—I’m just giving the ball a tour!”

• During a rainy match, a player with a stylish haircut was more concerned about keeping his hair intact than winning the game. Every time the ball came near him, he dodged it to avoid messing up his hair. After the game, his annoyed teammate asked, “What’s the point of having good hair if we lose the match?”
  The player shrugged. “Well, at least I still look like a winner.”

• A striker celebrated wildly after scoring a last-minute goal. His teammates piled on him in joy, and the fans roared. But just as he kissed the badge on his shirt, the referee raised his hand, signaling a VAR review.
  Minutes passed. The decision? Offside.
  Deflated, the striker mumbled, “Looks like I celebrated just a bit too forward.”

And that’s the final whistle on soccer puns and jokes! It’s been a match full of kick-arounds and goal-den laughs, with punchlines that could make even the most serious referee crack a smile. Whether you’re a seasoned striker of humor or a defender of bad jokes, soccer puns have a way of dribbling their way into your heart.

We’ve seen how jokes can bend like Beckham and puns can be as unpredictable as a ball on a windy day. Some jokes might hit the back of the net with ease, while others might be more of a red card situation – but that’s part of the fun. Even when the puns fall a little flat, it’s the kick-back attitude that keeps things in play.

The great thing about soccer humor is that there’s always another chance to shoot your shot. Miss one punchline? Don’t worry – there’s another game (or pun) right around the corner! Just make sure to stay on-side with your timing and keep your jokes in bounds – no one wants a foul sense of humor!

So, whether you’re scoring hat-trick jokes or making an assist in the laughter department, just remember: soccer puns always bring their A-game. Now, go out there and keep the ball rolling with even more laughs!