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Football is arguably the most popular sport on American TV with the Super Bowl being the pinnacle. Funnily, if Americans were to go anywhere outside of the USA, they’d be surprised that football is played with a different shaped ball – a ball used in the US to play “soccer”. As mush as soccer is the world’s most popular game, Americans have a passionate obsession with the great gridiron runs deep 365 days a year.

Let’s kick off with some football puns that are sure to make you laugh. Whether you’re a quarterback whisperer or just someone who enjoys a good tailgate party, these puns will tackle your funny bone. Get ready for some goal-worthy humor that’s sure to score a touchdown at your next gathering. From “goal” diggers to “pun-ting” enthusiasts, this collection of witty wordplay will have you cheering for more! So, lace up your cleats and prepare to laugh, because these football puns are a surefire way to make any game day a real “kicker”!

Football Puns

Football – Where football players go to dance or….
Football – Where feet go to dance (hmmm… this should qualify as a podiatry pun yes?)
Fruitball – When you can’t find a ball and use a watermelon instead.
Foodball – When you can’t find a ball or watermelon.
Tofutball – A game that was short lived for obvious reasons.
Snafutball – Football played with 10 balls at the same time.
Samfootball – Chinese women’s football wear they wear samfoos.
Fooledball – Football game where trickery and deceit is the objective.

Football Related Puns

Football season is the perfect time to unleash a whole new playbook of puns! Why did the football team bring string to the game? Because they wanted to tie the score! And what did one football say to the other? “I can’t wait to kick it with you this weekend!” It’s a tough game, but you’ve got to keep your head in the game – especially when the referee throws a flag. “What’s the penalty for littering on the field?” “A trash penalty!” Let’s not forget the fans, either. Why do football fans make terrible detectives? Because they can’t stop pointing out the foul play! And when it comes to game snacks, you know they always bring the nacho average spread! So grab your popcorn and settle in, because these puns are sure to score big laughs, making your football gatherings a total touchdown or goaaaaaal of hilarity!

Number One Draft Pick – Football players most favorite beer.
Super bowl – Huge bowl of guacamole dip.
Superbawl – The big cry when your team loses the Super bowl.
Souper Bowl – Bowls of soup at a football game.
Supper Bowl – Where hungry football players play.
Past interference – When football players stuck their noses in other people’s business in the past.
Defensive tackle – When a football player takes a tackle personally.
Dinoscore – When a dinosaur get a touchdown.
Illegal block – Stolen Lego toys.
Football fan – Appliance used to cool down a football.
Split end – Hair problem suffered by many football players.
Wide receiver – Very fat football player.
Wide receiver – Very fat big satelite dish.
Man coverage – Football player’s clothes
Man coverage – When a football players doesn’t reveal his age.
Possession – When a football players is controlled by and evil spirit.
Retained Possession – When exorcism fails to free a football player from possession.
Chip shot – A quick snack during a football game.
Out of bounds – Deflated football that cannot bounce.
Huddle – A group of footballers on the sidewalk after heavy rain.
Bowled over – The end of the Super Bowl.
Touch down – When a football player scratches himself down there.
Tight end – Football player who accidentally wore the wrong underwear.
Fantasy football – The football every football player wants for Christmas.
Quarterback – When the coin comes back out off a vending machine.
Quarterback – Football player who lost three quarters of this spine.
Ghoul posts – Where ghost football players kick the ball.
Goal posts – When football players write about scoring their goals on social media.
Team Spirit – Every football team needs one of these recruits.
The fans were having a ball at the game.
The fans were quiet. It was the calm before the score.
The seashells were also quiet. It was the clam before the score.
Footballs like to sing “I get a kick out of you”.
I like big punts, and I cannot lie.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
My team is so far behind; they really need to ketchup.
I tried to give up football, but I couldn’t kick the habit.
Chickens are persistent and passionate football fans – the always egg their team on.
If a first-round draft pick can be a bust, can a fifth-round draft pick be a boom?
Does a football player drink penal-tea?
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
The chicken kept getting close to his opponents to commit personal fowls!
The refs couldn’t measure for a first down. Someone was yanking the chain.
Football players like kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible.
After the away team kicked a field goal, it was a goal new ball game.
The receiver ran such a bad buttonhook route his pants fell.

Football Related Puns

Football jokes are the ultimate way to lighten up any game day! Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? He wanted to draw a penalty! And did you hear about the football team that couldn’t get their act together? They ended up in de-feet mode! If you ever wonder why football players are such bad musicians, it’s because they can never find the right pitch. Speaking of pitch, why did the soccer ball go to school? It wanted to get a little kick out learning new stuff! When it comes to food, why don’t football players eat fast food? Because they can’t catch it! And let’s not forget about the poor referee: why did he get kicked off the football field? Because he was always throwing shade! So gather your friends, share these jokes, and let the laughter tackle your worries away!

Q: Did you hear about the fishing hook that was oversensitive?
A: It was a defensive tackle.

Q: What do you call it when a football player gets injured in his last game before retirement?
A: Gridirony.

Q: Why did the quarterback scramble for his job?
A: So, he wouldn’t get sacked.

Q: Why couldn’t the defensive football player pass his test in school?
A: He was a tackling dummy.

Q: Why don’t they allow pigs to play football?
A: They hog the ball.

78. Why is it always warmer after a football game?
A: All the fans have left.

Q: What do you call a woman hustling a guy at a tailgate party?
A: Backward pass.

Q: Why are skeletons awful football players?
A: Because they only like to stay in the coffin corner.

Q: What would you call two nuns and a hooker playing football?
A: Two tight ends and a wild receiver.

Q: What will you get if you cross a telephone with a fat split end?
A: A wide receiver.

Q: How did the defense know the halfback was going to run the ball?
A: He left the huddle crying.

Q:Did you hear about the fans attending the Super Bowl?
A: They were having a ball!

Q: How did the defense know the halfback was going to run the ball?
A: He left the huddle crying.

Q: How can you keep the Detroit Lions out of your front yard?
A: By putting up a goal post.

Q: What do Nebraska and marijuana have in common?
A: Both get smoked in a bowl.

Q: How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
A: Hide the ball; it drives them nuts!

Q: Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
A: She was a fair catch.

Q: What are the best animals at football?
A: A score-pion.

Q: Where do football players go shopping in the offseason?
A: The tackle shop.

Q: My wife left me because she says I’m too obsessed with football.
A: Oh well, we had five good seasons together.

Q: In case of a tornado, where will you go to in Chicago?
A: Soldier Field- they never get a touchdown there!

Q: A genius sitting in the Texas A&M student section will be called what?
A: A visitor.

Q: Why do Corn Husker football players like smart women?
A: Opposite attract.

Q: What do Billy Graham and the Jacksonville Jaguars have in common?
A: Both can make seventy thousand people scream Jesus Christ.

Q: Why did the football go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.

Q: Why did the football team draft a vending machine?
A: They needed a quarterback.

Q: What did the wild receiver say to the football?
A: Catch you later.

Q: What type of dog doesn’t like to play football?
A: Boxer

Q: Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at mid-field?
A:He was trying to make ends meet

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
A: He had no heart for it.

Q: What do you call the basement where there are Viking’s fans?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: How is a football referee like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.

Q: Why do pigeons fly over Ford field upside down?
A: There is nothing worth crapping on.

Q: What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
A: They both did great with a hand off.

Q: What do you get when you cross two football teams with the Invincible Man?
A: A game like you’ve never seen.

Q: Why did the center walk off the field?
A: The Quarterback told him to hike.

Q: What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A: A good sportsman ship.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the football game?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: What do football players do when they get hot ?
A: They stand closer to some of the fans.

Q: Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: Which two football teams played in the Pirate Super Bowl?
A: Seahawks and Buccaneers.

Q: What do you call a lineman’s kid?
A: A chip off the old blocker.

Q: Which bug doesn’t play well in football?
A: The fumble bee.

Q: What do you call a bunch of chubby guys dancing together at halftime?
A: Backfield in motion.

Q: When should football players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: Why didn’t the football receivers catch the joke?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: After retirement, where do old quarterbacks go?
A: Out to pass-ture.

Q: What do centers wear on their feet?
A: Hike-ing shoes.

Q: What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?
A: One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.

Q: Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?
A: The wide receiver.

Q: How doTitans count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.

Q: Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
A: Because they produce audible groans!

Q: Why was the tight end reading a book on the twenty-yard line?
A: It was a red zone read.

Q: Where do Jedi play football?
A: On the force field.

Q: Why do 49ers fans smells so bad?
A: So that blind people can hate them as well.

Q: What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.

Q: Why don’t dumb fans eat hot dogs at football games?
A: They don’t know which end to start on.

Football is the only time you can knock somebody out and not go to jail for it.
Football players are temperamental – 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
I didn’t know who had the ball, and then, it hit me.
The pig was ejected from the football game because he was playing dirty.
Old quarterbacks never die. They just pass away.
The last time I played tackle football without pads, I broke three ribs and a collar bone.
Fortunately, none of them were mine.
8 p.m.: I get a text from my girlfriend that says, “Me or football?!”
11 p.m.: I text back, “You, of course.”

As the final whistle blows on our football puns and jokes, remember that laughter is the best playbook for any game day! Whether you’re cheering for your favorite team or just enjoying a good laugh, these puns and jokes are sure to make you feel like a winner. So next time you’re huddled around the TV, don’t forget to pass around some of these hilarious one liners – they’ll surely score some laughs!