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Hockey is a fast and furious game. Imagine two opposing teams chasing after a puck (or ball if it’s field hockey) armed with hockey sticks and passion. And if it’s ice hockey, they’re on ice skates zooming at the speed of crash in a game where physical contact bordering on violence is acceptable and expected. Did you know that the fastest recorded puck speed in the NHL was an astonishing 108.8 miles per hour? That’s faster than most of us can drive on the highway! With a puck flying that quickly, it’s no wonder that players have to keep their heads up and their sense of humor sharp. Hockey is a seriously dangerous game, but the millions of fans around the world show how perenially popular it is.

In the slapstick world of hockey puns, the ice is as smooth as a well-placed pun and the jokes can hit harder than a slap shot! From zambonis to zany goals, hockey is a game rich in quirks and characters, making it a perfect target for some punny business. Whether you’re a fan of the face-offs or just here for the fun, there’s no better way to lighten the mood than with a good ol’ hockey pun. So lace up your skates, grab your stick, and let’s dive into the ice-cold waters of humor that will leave you in stitches! Get ready to shoot for the laughs, because this is going to be one heck of a puck-derful ride!

Hockey Puns

Hockey Mountain High – John Denver’s anthem written for the sport of ice hockey.
Hockey Road – Hockey players’ favorite dessert.
Hoockey – When hockey playes skip school.
Hogkey – Hockey play by pigs.
Hockey Pockey – Silly celebration dance by hockey players when they score a goal.
Ayes Hockey – Pirate’s version of hockey.
Rice Hockey – Asian version of ice hockey.
Wise Hockey – Played by clever people.
Fries Hockey – Hockey played by fast food lovers.
Nice Hockey – Non violent version of Hockey.
Iced Hockey – Played by snowmen.
Pies Hockey – When hockey players lose the puck and use a pie instead.
Hockick – The best part of a hockey game when it turns into a Kung Fu fight.
HoHoKey – Santa and his Elves’ version of hockey.
Hockey Pug – Pug who loves hockey.
Hockey Pug – When hockey players use their mascot.
Hockey Shtick – Hockey players special talent off the rink.
Hockey Stick – What comedians use to play hockey.
Hockey Balboa – Little known hockey player who retired and became a boxing champ.

Hockey Related Puns

Hockey is a game that brings a whole new meaning to “stick” and “puck”! Ever wonder why players are so good at telling jokes? It’s because they know how to sneak in a pun without missing a goal! If you ask a goalie how they feel after a tough game, they might just say, “I’m feeling a bit puck-ed off!” And let’s not forget about the referee; when they blow their whistle, it’s just to say, “I’m here for the foul play!” When teams head to the locker room, you can bet they’re exchanging puns instead of just game strategies – after all, it’s keeps the mood light and the spirits high! So whether you’re at the rink or watching from home, remember that laughter is the best way to get your hockey fix and scoring some good laughs on and off the ice!

Lady Bling Trophy – Hockey’s mostly glitzy trophy.
Bobby Orr – Hockey player who loves to row boats.
Gordie Howe Hat Trick– Hockey player who does a little magic.
Five hole – The number of gaps in a hockey players mouth from lost teeth.
Ice-olated – Hockey player who accidentally locks himself in the toilet.
Off-ice – Where hockey coaches do their paperwork.
Icing – Hockey players favorite part of a cake.
Tupuc – Ice hockey player that raps.
Zoomboni – Ice resurfacing at record speed.
Zombieoni – Ice resurfacer used at zombie hockey games.
Ice scream – First time a hockey recruit becomes the target of violent play.
Cold shoulder – How hockey players react after an argument.
Wayne Regretzky – Little know player who regretted not becoming a pro hockey player.
Just-ice – When a ice hockey player is punished for a crime.
Ice Hockey. It’s a cool sport.
Finland’s Ice Hockey Team Motto – You Fin Some You Lose Some.
Hockey players make friends easily because they are great at breaking the ice first!
After the hockey goalie let in three goals, he looked at the puck and angrily said, “I’ll catch you later”.
While taking penalty shots, Danish players like to aim for the top kroner!
Hockey players’ favorite tea is penal-tea.
Carpenters love to play ice hockey because they get to nail players to the boards.
Before each ice hockey season, coaches have well thawed out plans.
I found out why hockey stadiums were the coolest place – Ice saw lots and lots of fans!
The newbie sports reporter wasn’t prepared to interview the hockey team, so he had to wing it.

Hockey Jokes

Hockey jokes are like a perfectly timed slap shot – when they land, they leave everyone in stitches! Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie the score! Why did the goalie bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition! If you ever find yourself stuck on the ice, just remember: don’t get puck-ed up; just skate your way to laughter!

One of my favorites: Why did the coach bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted his team to reach new heights! And if you’re feeling down, just think of the ball or puck; it always knows how to bounce back! Whether you’re on the ice or watching from the stands, a good hockey joke can warm the coldest of arenas. So lace up those skates, stick around and get ready to chuckle – it’s time to score some laughs!

Q: Did you hear about the charity hockey game for leprosy?
A: There was a face off in the corner. (ugh.. this is one of those cringy “jokes”)

Q: What do you get when you cross a skeleton with an ice resurfacer?
A: Zam-boney.

Q: Why are Canadians better than Germans at hockey?
A: The Canadians bring their ‘eh’ game but the Germans bring their wurst.

Q: How many NHL players can jump higher than a crossbar?
A: All of them. Crossbars can’t jump!

Q: Why do ice hockey rinks have curved corners?
A: If they had angles of 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

Q: What does a field hockey striker say on Halloween?
A: Hat Trick or Treat!

Q: What did the Zamboni say to the ice rink?
A: Ice to meet you.

Q: What was the Zamboni’s computer doing before the game?
A: Initial-icing.

Q: What does hockey and hovercraft have in common?
A: Loud fans.

Q: Why don’t ice hockey players tell jokes?
A: The ice might crack up.

Q: How do we know that an ice hockey player invented the toothbrush?
A: Otherwise it would be called a teethbrush.

Q: Why did the referee say to the hockey player that he gave a warning to?
A: Icy what you did.

Q: What do Eskimo Ice Hockey players like to eat?
A: Ice berg’ers.

Q: Why did the reserve ice hockey player go to the convenience store during games?
A: Because he was a grocery stick.

Q: What do they serve at the Stanley Cup Final post-game party?
A: Stanley Cupcakes.

Q: Why is it always so cool at a hockey rink?
A: Because of all the fans.

Q: Why was the hockey player always up a tree with his hockey stick?
A: He wanted to join the maple leafs.

Q: Why are horses like ice hockey strikers?
A: They’re happy when you feed them apples.

Q: Which animal would make a great hockey player?
A: A score-pion.

Q: Why do hockey players wear so many pads?
A: Because they have 3 periods a game. (Just a joke ladies…)

Q: What is music and like ice hockey?
A: If you don’t C sharp, you’ll B flat.

Q: Why should you date a hockey goalie?
A: Because he’s a keeper.

Q: What do the New York Rangers and the Titanic have in common?
A: They look good until they hit the ice.

Q: Why did the women’s baking club turn up at the hockey match with cakes?
A: They heard there was lots of icing there.

Q: What is a hockey player’s favorite Italian pasta?
A: Zam’roni.

Q: Why do hockey rinks get hot after a game?
A: All the fans left.

Q: What did Tweety Bird say at the ice hockey game?
A: I thot I thaw a Puddy Tat!

Q: Why was the field hockey player arrested?
A: He shot the ball.

Q: What does a dentist and a hockey coach have in common?
A: They both use drills!

Q: What did the coach say to the new hockey recruit?
A: I’ve had my ice on you for a long time.

Q: Why did the hockey teams bring rope onto the rink?
A: It was a tie game!

Q: What did the girl say to the hockey player who proposed to her?
A: Icy you have good taste.

Q: What do you call a rapper’s dog playing ice hockey?
A: Scoop Dogg.

Q: Why are hockey players like goldfish?
A: You just have to tap on the glass to get their attention.

Ghosts love to play hockey and they especially playing the position of Ghouli.
The hockey team were glad they recruited a ghost. He scored many ghouls.
Hockey players and figure skaters don’t date because nobody wants to break the ice.
A group of old men formed a hockey team. They called themselves Jerry Hat Tricks!
A chicken was put into the penalty box during a hockey game.
He committed fowl play.
A hockey team got nicknamed “Scrambled Eggs” because they always get beaten.
A horse turned up at hockey trials. He thought it was the jockey trials.
A hockey player started visiting the bank regularly. He said he wanted to give more checks.
Dogs are not allowed to play hockey because of their penchant for ruffing.
Pigs are not allowed to play hockey because they always hog the puck.
Birds are often recruited by hockey teams because they’re good at chirping.
The hockey team starting to play funny because their coach advised them to watch more slap-stick movies!
Two players crashed into one another and both lost some teeth. You could say it was an acci-dental collision.
The new ice hockey player got scared about his first game. You could say he got cold feet.
Hockey players are known for their summer teeth – some are here, some are there.
Something funny happened last night? We were watching a boxing match, and a game of hockey broke out!
A priest plays in his church hockey team as goalkeeper. He’s great at blocking ghouls.
Apparently, the secret to the fitness of New Jersey Devils hockey players is regular exorcising.
On a charter flight, all hockey players were seated according to the position they play; two of them almost froze to death on the wings.
Coach : Have you seen the Zamboni driver?
Player : Nah… but I’m sure he’ll resurface later.
A monkey won the Stanley Cup. He was the chimpion.
After my son’s team won the hockey tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.
It was the Father, Son and Goalie Host.
A hockey player and his wife are playing hockey and she shoots! She Mrs. the net!
The magician turned out to be a great hockey player because he made hat tricks regularly.
Cinderella wasn’t allowed to join the field hockey team because she kept running away from the ball.
I had a great ice hockey joke, but it slipped my mind.
My dad and I were at the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Dad : I want to try on Team Russia’s jersey…
Me : Okay… go on!
Dad : Help me bring them down so I can try the different sizes.
Me : Can’t you reach for it yourself?
Dad : Will you just help me so I can check?!!
Me : You said you wanted Russian not Czech.

As we wrap up this ice-cold adventure of hockey puns and jokes, remember that laughter is just as crucial to the game as a solid slap shot! Whether you’re cracking a pun about a puck-ing good time or sharing a joke that makes the crowd roar, humor is the ultimate power play. So next time you hit the rink or cheer from the stands, don’t forget to bring your best one-liners along. In the world of hockey, it’s not just about the score – it’s about how many laughs you can stick into the game! Keep it light, and always skate for the fun!