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Welcome to the world of velociraptor puns – a place where prehistoric charm meets a razor-sharp sense of humor! These tiny terrors, often misunderstood as oversized chickens with teeth, were actually just about the size of a turkey. But don’t let their size fool you; these dinos were fast, fierce, and feathered! Yes, you read that right – some scientists believe velociraptors sported feathers, making them look less like movie monsters and more like overgrown, angry parrots.

Now, imagine these speedy little critters cracking jokes as they sprinted through the ancient underbrush. Perhaps they’d ask, “Why did the velociraptor bring a ladder to the jungle? To reach the high-puns!” Or maybe they’d quip, “What’s a velociraptor’s favorite kind of music? Raptor-rap!”

But enough about their quick wit – did you know that velociraptors likely hunted in packs? That means they probably had a blast sharing puns over a nice, fresh meal of triceratops tartare. And with those curved, sickle-shaped claws, they were well-equipped to carve out a place in pun history.

So, whether you’re here to laugh or learn, get ready to “raptor-ously” enjoy some dino-mite humor. Just remember, when it comes to velociraptors, their jokes are as sharp as their claws -so prepare to be thoroughly “pun-ished”!

Velociraptor Puns

Velociraptor -Distance-raptor divided by time-raptor.
Veloci-rapper – The only dinosaur who can spit sick bars.
Veloci-wrapper – Santa’s little dinosaur helper.
Veloci-wrapper – Shiny foil around dino candy.
Veloci-tractor – What prehistoric farmers used to plough their fields.
Veloci-trap-tor – A booby trapping dino.
Velo-sit-raptor – What raptor does when tired of standing.
Veloci-captor – The one who catches wild velociraptor.
Velour-ciraptor – A dinosaur covered in luxurious fabric.
Philoso-raptors – Velociraptors who think, therefore they am.
Fleur-ciraptor – A French pretty-petaled dinosaur.
Floss-iraptor – A dentist’s favourite dinosaur patient.
Floss-iraptor – A dinosaur who knows Fortnite dances.
Floor-ciraptor – Dinosaurs you step on.
Fir-lociraptor – Raptor on a fir tree.
Fur-lociraptor – Furry raptor.
Pho-lociraptor – Vietnamese raptor soup.
Purr-lociraptor – Kitty cat dino.
Vera-see-raptor – Then Vera run away from raptor.
Ve-flop-siraptor – Clumsy dino.
Ve-flopsy-raptor – Dino undecided on what to eat for dinner.
Very-sly-raptor – Not your average dum-dum raptor.
Versace-raptor – Fashionable raptor.
Verb-lociraptor – Raptor who loves verbs.
Vrrrrrr-lociraptor – Raptor playing video games.
Vrrrrr-locirator – Raptor discovering motorbikes.
Vehl-lociraptor – Vehl, Vehl, Vehl, a raptor in India.
Very-low-ciraptor – Short dino.
Well-lociraptor – Not a sick raptor.

Velociraptor Related Puns

Velociraptors are just one of many thousand species in the dinosaur world. Dinosaurs might be extinct, but their puns are alive and stomping! Let’s dig up some prehistoric wordplay, shall we? Picture a T. rex trying to tell a joke but struggling because, well, those tiny arms just can’t hold a mic. “Why don’t T. rexes ever clap during performances? Because they’re in-de-nile about their arm length!”

Then there’s the stegosaurus, known for its spiky back and not-so-sharp wit. “Why did the stegosaurus cross the road? To spike up some excitement!” And who could forget the brachiosaurus, the gentle giant with its long neck, perfect for reaching new heights—of humor, that is. “Why did the brachiosaurus become a vegetarian? Because it wanted to avoid any beef with the carnivores!”

But if you think these puns are ancient history, think again! Dinosaurs may have roamed the Earth millions of years ago, but their legacy lives on through dino-mite puns and jokes that are sure to leave you saur-ing with laughter. So, whether you’re a fan of Jurassic humor or just looking for a way to fossilize a smile on someone’s face, these dino puns are the perfect way to dig up a good time. Remember, when it comes to humor, dinosaurs are truly a-rex-ceptional!

Dino-smore – Favourite dinosaur campfire sweet treat.
Dino-sour – Moody, bad tempered dinosaurs prone to hissy-fits.
Dino-sir – A dinosaur knight.
Dine-osaur – Dinosaur in a restaurant.
Di-know-saur – Know it all dino.
Died-no-saur – All the dinosaur today.
Dry-nosaur – Dino not wet.
Diet-nosaur – Dino trying to lose weight.
Di-notes-saur – Musical dino.
Dino-sault – Dino doing a flip.
Dino-snot – What comes out of a dino’s nose.
Car-nivore – Dinosaurs that eat cars.
Corny-vore – Velociraptors that love dad jokes and puns.
Corn-ivore – Corn-devouring dinosaurs.
That concert was dino-mite!
Dinosaurs are just roar-some!
We came. We ‘saur. We conquered.
Don’t be a ‘saur loser.
When you see a dino-snore, don’t disturb.
I love when my arms are raptor-round you.

Lizard Puns

B-lizard – Snowstorm of monstrous dinosauric proportions.
B-lizard – A reptile’s favourite Dairy Queen treat.
Glizz-ard – If a hotdog was turned into a lizard.
Liz-herd – A herd o’ lizards?
Liz-nerd – Reptile geek.
W-izard – Magical lizard.
Rap-tiles – Lizards who love hip hop.
Rep-tiles – What lizards use for their bathroom floors.
Scale-etons – Reptile bone structure.
Scales – A reptile’s favourite way to measure things.
Pentatonic Scale – A lizard’s favourite musical scale.
Scaleywag – A mischievous rascal lizard.
Tail-or – Reptilian clothesmaker.
Retail Shop – Where reptiles go to find new tails.
She was cold-blooded.
Velociraptors are cold-blooded killers.
He’s such a tattle tail.
You used to call me on my tailphone…
Meat, how tan-tail-izing!
A classis tail of two cities.

Bone, Fossil, and Feather Puns

Bone-zai – A fossil’s favorite mini tree.
Bonely – When a fossil doesn’t have any friends.
Phoney Ba-boney – How fossils describe something fake.
Bone-jour – How a french fossil says hello.
Trom-bone – Fossil’s favorite music instrument.
Four-ssil – A dead dinosaur that had only four bones.
Fos-seal – The archaeological remains of a dinosaur seal.
Paw-ssil – Bones of prehistoric pets.
Ba-ssil – A dead dinosaur’s favourite herb.
Feather-ccine Alfredo – A prehistoric bird’s favourite pasta dish.
Bone puns are okay with skeletons buts personal insults are where they jaw the line.
Leg bones always tell the truth because they find it easy tibia honest.
Dinosaurs of a feather will flock together.
Better late than feather.
Lovely feather we’re having.
Luke, I am your feather.
Don’t ruffle my feathers.

Velociraptor Jokes

Velociraptors may have been the swift and stealthy predators of the Cretaceous period, but they’ve also evolved into the kings of dinosaur humor. Let’s face it – velociraptors were practically born for stand-up comedy. Imagine them prowling the stage, claws tapping the mic, ready to deliver some dino-mite one-liners. “Why did the velociraptor sit on the egg? Because it didn’t want to crack under pressure!”

These cunning creatures weren’t just nimbly fast – they were also quick-witted. Their ability to outsmart prey is the stuff of legends, so it’s no surprise that their jokes come with a sharp edge. “What do you get when you cross a velociraptor with a comedian? A ‘clever girl’ who knows how to raptor up a joke!”

And let’s not forget their fellow dinos in the comedy club. The ankylosaurus might roll its eyes (if it could) at the velociraptor’s humor, responding with a deadpan, “You really think you’re on a roll, huh?” Meanwhile, the triceratops could try to horn in on the act with its own puns: “Why don’t triceratops tell jokes? Because they always trip up on the punchline!”

Even the pterodactyls have something to say from above: “Why don’t velociraptors make good pilots? Because they always wing it!”

So, the next time you’re in need of a prehistoric laugh, just remember that the velociraptors were the original masters of ‘raptor-ous’ humor. They’re proof that even in the ancient world, jokes were as sharp as their claws! Okay… let’s jump into our collection of raptor-ous raptor jokes.

Q: What do you get when you take the integral of a velociraptor?
A: A Positio-raptor!

Q: What’s the difference between a velociraptor and a police officer?
A: The velociraptor can open doors.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur poacher?
A: A cold-blooded killer!

Q: What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?
A: “Dino what you’re thinking.”

Q: What’s the best kind of relationship to have with a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!

Q: Why did the Velociraptor get up before dawn?
A: Because the early bird catches the worm!

Q: What do velociraptors have that no other animals have?
A: Baby Velociraptors.

Q: Why are velociraptors no longer around?
A: Because their eggs stink.

Q: Which is a velociraptor’s least favourite reindeer?
A: Comet.

Q: What do you call a vegan dinosaur?
A: Falafel Raptor

Q: Why did the velociraptor cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.

Q: What do you call a velociraptors fart?
A: A blast from the past.

Q: Why do velociraptors eat raw meat?
A: Because they don’t know how to cook!

People say that just one huge meteor managed to wipe out the entire species of Velociraptors.I guess you could say it killed lots of birds with one stone.
A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting at the bar. The Velociraptor points to a Triceratops in the corner and says, “Why is he getting served first?”
T-Rex says “Oh, because he was herbivorous”.
A velociraptor struts into a bar, and the bartender exclaims, “Hold up! We don’t serve your kind here.”
The velociraptor looks at him and asks, “What about humans?” The bartender, puzzled, replies, “Well, yes, we serve humans.” The velociraptor grins, “Perfect! I’ll have one of those, medium-rare, please”.
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble upon a magic lamp.They rub it, and a genie appears.”I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.
The T-Rex thinks hard.”Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.” With a snap of the genie’s fingers, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the Allosaurus thinks even harder.”I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”
The thunder rumbled, and huge chunks of meat fell around him.
The Velociraptor, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”
While admiring some dinosaur bones in the Museum of Natural History, a tourist asks the guard, “How old are they?”
The guard replies, “They are 73 million, five years, and six months old.”
“That’s a rather exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”
“Well,” answers the guard, “The dinosaur bones were seventy-three million years old when I started working here, and that was five and a half years ago.”

As we wrap up this wild ride through the prehistoric jungle of velociraptor puns, it’s clear these ancient comedians had humor as sharp as their claws. Whether they’re delivering a zinger about their hunting skills or cracking up their dino pals, velociraptors prove that they were the original kings of the comedy circuit. “Why did the velociraptor become a comedian? Because it knew how to raptor up a crowd!”

So next time you’re feeling down, just remember: velociraptors might have gone extinct, but their puns are still tearing it up. These feathered pranksters knew that the best way to survive in the prehistoric world was with a swift chase and an even quicker joke. And who knows? Maybe somewhere out there, a velociraptor is still running, chasing after the ultimate punchline. After all, in the world of dino humor, they’re always on the hunt!